Day 50 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible.

Day 50

It is hard to know what to do with myself all day. Yesterday I ended up sleeping all day because I had only gotten a few hours of sleep the night before due to coffee abuse/anxiety. I know I’m supposed to be nice to myself right now but it’s hard not to feel that the nicest thing I can do for myself is to seek out ways to earn money all day. My stomach is still jacked up from not eating full meals for so long and anxiety about what I’ll make happen next. I’m on Day 2 of no coffee and because my routine is so off, I almost forgot to write this blog this morning. I lack the ability to relax and feel good about it because it feels irresponsible to do anything other than pursue money when you’re in debt. I do not want my life to be about the pursuit of money so it’s a tricky one.

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I’ve been researching work to live opportunities all over the world, national park jobs with employee housing, as well as media jobs in New York. I have never had an office media job before but I would love the opportunity to impress people on a global level even if I need to purchase a whole new wardrobe with money I don’t have to do so. Moving somewhere will not change the contents of my brain but it would separate me from those who have taken advantage of my kindness in the past. I used to work seasonally (ski resorts in winter/marinas, summer camps, Alaskan hotels etc. in the summer) and I’d love to do that again if I can create the right opportunity for myself. It was a great way to learn about a new place from the locals, save money, and to meet tons of like-minded people from all over the world. It would be a completely different experience as a 40 year old but I’m willing to give it a shot. I would work almost any (legal) job anywhere in the world aside from Seattle but I still believe that my @TheRingOfDOOM idea will be the way I help the most people (myself included) once I’m able to focus my energy on it. International work visas cost more than I currently have but there are some rad opportunities out there like working at the hostel near Giant’s Causeway in Northern Ireland, working for a European festival company that runs events like the Running Of The Bulls and Oktoberfest, infinite freelance travel writing jobs, and tons of opportunities I have yet to research.

I really don’t know what direction to take this blog anymore and I’ve definitely thought about retiring it but then there would be zero chance to help others… still trying to help others even when I’m not sure how to help myself. My creativity is squashed by long-term struggle mode at this time but I must find a way to turn this broken heart into art or something useful. I still want to be a travel blogger but I can’t afford to travel and I have yet to find a way to monetize the music blog I started in 2009 or this website so I have a long ways to go (pun 100% intended). I’d still love to go back on tour with more good-hearted musicians if the pay was a living wage. This workaholic is in serious need of a mentor. I still believe all the things I want to do are possible but I’ll need to be more patient to make them happen in the best way. 

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water +

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Apply for at least three jobs in other states

5.     More research on how to use my creativity to make a living

6.     Finish this blog.

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Sevdaliza – “Soul Syncable” 2018

Day 45 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 45

Yesterday was extremely productive but my biggest challenges are still ahead. At this moment, my art studio is empty aside from the stuff I’ll use to clean the place up. After I write this, I’ll take my last load of stuff to my storage unit and be left with only the suitcase and small backpack I’ll take with me to Europe. The final carload is mostly art I believe will raise in value the further I run with this adventure. I did receive an offer to buy one of my pieces but it worked out to approximately $1/hour so I’ll be holding onto that until further notice. I love making art but it is not yet my greatest skill. This adventure is about betting on my talents and creating the best job for me.

Approximately 19 years ago, I spilled Newcastle beer all over this jacket and have left it in storage ever since. I finally tackled the stain on my past and will be wearing it t proudly soon. Yes, this is a metaphor for life.

Approximately 19 years ago, I spilled Newcastle beer all over this jacket and have left it in storage ever since. I finally tackled the stain on my past and will be wearing it t proudly soon. Yes, this is a metaphor for life.

I could not be more aware that there are many things I SHOULD be doing but all of those things would serve only to keep me broke for years and living a life that someone else controls. We all know that having one job in Seattle (especially in the music industry) will not earn someone enough money to live a healthy life. I’d need to work three jobs for multiple years to get where I know this project could be next week if I’m able to effectively share my vision with those in a position to help. While of course there are examples of people who have accomplished great feats by taking the long route, I believe most of them would agree that the best move in any situation is to work smarter, not harder. It has already been proven that it is 100% possible for people to create careers for themselves in which they’re able to work remotely and travel at the same time. This is the most direct route to success; this exact road that I’m on right now will lead me directly to the people that inspire me the most and put me in a position in which I can create opportunities for artists all over the world. If I follow the route I SHOULD take, I will inspire no one and not be in a position to help the people I admire in the ways I know I can for many years… in addition to being super depressed because I succumbed to the pressures of conformity again.  

That said, I am 100% willing to be proven wrong on this. I will happily consider any full time job offers almost anywhere in the world if that one job would pay me enough to live in that city. I’m qualified to do 1111 things in the music industry, have a UW History Degree, excel in customer service, and have been creating content for my own website for nine years so far. In a perfect world, I SHOULD be able to find a job like this easily but America is broken. Those paying attention know it’s not actually broken, it is fixed in favor of white rich men in suits. I intend to seek out all the ways that artists can make money outside of the hourly wage system that has kept all of us in struggle mode for too long. If I have ever shown an interest in you or your art, I’m doing this for you. In 2018, there are people who make millions of dollars a year playing video games, many professional travel vloggers, and millions of online businesses. Following a traditional route with all this technology is not only stupid but also a means to stay exactly where we are. So of course I SHOULD get a job in the system with health, dental, and a 401K but if I did that the only person that would win is the company I worked for. Thanks to the wisdom of Elle Luna who wrote a book called, The Crossroads Between Should And Must, I’ve spent a ton of time figuring out what I MUST do. I MUST go directly to Bristol in a few days and start being the change I want to see in the world because it is the best way to help everyone I love the most… myself included. I MUST continue to jump over the obstacles I’ve created for myself to reach the life I know is possible because life is too short not to. I believe so strongly in myself and that there are people out there who will recognize my infinite potential and help me make this happen that I’m going for it right now without a safety net. The ROI on Liz Rowe is off the charts and someone in a position to help will soon realize it. Five years ago, I cashed in my 401K at Whole Foods so I could dive directly into the music industry and it worked so well that within three years I was hiring people to work alongside me at giant music venues. I’ve been on the direct payroll of some of the most successful musician in the world since I quit the corporate music industry at the end of 2016 and I’m just getting going.

An example of the random ish in my storage unit.

An example of the random ish in my storage unit.

After I write this, take my final carload to my storage unit, and clean out the car that has been my best friend for six years. I’ll be facing the challenge of reaching out to someone who can be with me during the car sale transaction. I am so resistant to asking for help that I only own items that I can lift myself AND fit in my Subaru. When I went to BECU yesterday, the person was awesome and let me know that it is totally possible to complete the transaction in the bank so I feel a lot better about attacking this mission solo but it’s still a bad idea. I’d love for the buyer to be able to test drive the car but the thought of getting in any car with a Craigslist stranger alone makes me wince. While I try to live my life unafraid of bad people, they do exist and I’d be a fool to tackle this mission alone.  

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     10 Minute Stretch

3.     Go For A Walk

4.     Blog Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also)

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool ; I’ve been slacking on this because my mind is on all of the logistics for at least one or two more days.

6.     Take final car load to storage unit.

7.     Clean car inside and out.

8.     Reach out to someone who can advise on this car selling matter.

9.     Respond to the five people who have expressed interest in my car and try to sell it TODAY.

10.    Just DOOM it.

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Carly Simon – “You’re So Vain” 1972   I know I’m not the only one that reads random posts on the internet and spends too much time thinking about whether the vague comment is a direct attack on their life mission OR a sign of support from those who haven’t told you to your face that they believe in your mission. I am 100% guilty of doing both of these things. If there actually are people out there who don’t want me to succeed, they’re rooting against someone whose whole goal in life is to create opportunities for underground artists and they might be an asshole. Every second we waste thinking about those who are telling us what we SHOULD or SHOULD NOT do is a second we could have spent working towards our goals. I’ve been listening to the advice of people who are living the kind of life I want to live and extracting what applies to my situation and it has led me right here… on my way to put all my stuff in a storage unit, releasing the financial ties that have bound me to a life I don’t want, and ready to go all in on my strengths. Carly Simon is a number 1 boss lady and it’s a classic but this song is kinda weak.

Day 43 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 43

Today was the last day I wake up in this 10x10 box; I’ll be housesitting until I leave next Monday. I am so lucky to have found a place to create and gather my thoughts for $295/month but this is a terrible way to live life and I couldn’t be happier to be moving on to my next adventure. When you wake up in a place you’re not supposed to be, you start off the day trying to be invisible. I’ve been trying to go unnoticed for as long as I can recall so even though this living situation seems (sort of) ideal for someone who is hoping to spend all their money on travel; the cheap rent and isolation ultimately served to steer me further from those I admire the most. As the late, great Mac Miller said in this Fader Documentary, spending too much time alone can be toxic and I feel like walking proof of this statement most of the time. Because I am the Delusional Optimist that I am, I can easily perceive this era as me taking the time to figure out exactly what I wanted to do without letting others influence me and staying away from a vice that could easily overtake me if I allowed it to. It is okay that I am terrible at drinking; I do not want to get better at it even if it means I get to hang out with the cool kids. I’m too old for that shit and my stomach has already told me that whiskey is the devil. I have not quit drinking forever because I plan on drinking wine in Italy, delicious beer in Belgium, and Guinness in Ireland (etc.) but spending money I didn’t have on a beverage that hurts my stomach and risking DUIs is dumb.

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Yesterday, I filmed more than sixty minutes of footage of myself addressing the camera. I learned a ton about myself in this hour and also in the multiple hours I’ve spent since editing the video (like sixty minutes of footage for a three minute car commercial might be too much). The most valuable thing I’ve learned so far is that when I’m holding back or thinking about how I look, it shows. Reading the script for the video I had written looked and sounded like it was scripted but I will still use some of it. I MUST FINISH EDITING THIS VIDEO TODAY! Time is running out fast but I believe so strongly that selling this car and going to Europe is what I am supposed to do at this time that I must keep going. I also got some footage of what will be my new Patreon video and the video I’ll send to DOOM and his team to ask again if they’d like me to stop using his mask in my videos. After about ten minutes into editing the footage last night, I realized that I’m going to be really good at this once I get going. Every fear I face along my way will make a better story while also helping me grow as a person. There are wins at every turn of this path.

I learned a lot my last solo trip to Europe and I can’t wait to do it better this time. I mostly overextended myself last time and stayed in hotels but this trip (until my yet-to-be-formed crew and budget arrives and we stay in Air Bnbs; delusional optimism at its finest) I’ll be staying in hostels to save a ridiculous amount of money and to meet people from all over the world. Sadly, even though I feel younger than I did ten years ago, I’m too old to stay at a lot of the cheapest European hostels ($8/night) but the lowest priced situations have truly terrible reviews anyway. Even if I ended up paying $35/night for a hostel room, it would still only cost me just over $1000 a month on lodging. Most of the hostels I’m looking at are around $25 so I’ll likely spend even less. The lodging costs for this trip strangely equal the price of my storage unit, my car payment, car insurance, and the art studio I’ve been squatting in. When everything goes as planned, while in Europe I’ll only have to pay for my storage unit, phone bill, Squarespace & Spotify fees, student loan, and the large payments on the credit card debt I acquired while attempting to maintain a solo residence in Seattle while owning a car (approximately $875 total). This trip is 100% doable when I figure out how to make money remotely. I already know HOW to do it, I just need to choose a few of them and JUST DOOM IT. Finishing and posting this car video is a step in exactly the right direction and I will be posting it today.

After I complete this blog and post my soon to be finished video I know will help me sell my car, I’ll be taking another load of stuff to my storage unit. Without traffic, I can be there in 20 minutes but Seattle isn’t really rolling like that these days. My Smart TV has been in my trunk for almost a week because I want to sell it but I’m still hesitant to meet a stranger from the internet to actually sell the TV. It is now in the way and it must go so I can move the large items. Keeping the television so that I can come back to the US and watch it goes against everything I’m working towards at this time. We’ve reached the time on my daily blog when I must finish it so I can do all the things I’ve just told you I’m going to do. Stay tuned…

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     10 Minute Stretch

3.     Go For A Walk

4.     Blog Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also)

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.    Finish car sale video and post!

7.    Take at least one load to my storage unit and rearrange it so more stuff can fit.

8.    Actually go to Everyday Music so I can take the box of mediocre CDs out of my car for good.

9.   Eat a healthy dinner with vegetables involved; bean burritos are good and cheap but they’ve been my last four meals.

10.   Work on Patreon and DOOM videos.

 

SONG OF THE DAY

B. Cool-Aid – “Cocoa (MNDSGN RMX)” 2017  I have no idea what this song is about yet but I love it and it will be on my upcoming September playlist. When everything goes as planned, I’ll get to see my first Hip Hop show in another country, Mndsgn and Kiefer in London, in a few weeks (if I don’t find one in Bristol sooner). I’ll be reaching out to local musicians to see if they want to show @TheRingOfDOOM around their city but it would be totally awesome to have a chance to talk to two of my favorite Stones Throw artists also.

Day 41 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 41

The best thing I could have done yesterday was listen to my brain and I couldn’t be happier that I took the time to do so. Over the next few days, I will be moving out of the 10x10 foot box I’ve created some of my best art in and releasing many of the material possessions that have been difficult to both keep and let go of. One week from today, my life will have changed dramatically because I took many steps to not only figure out what I believe will help me live my best life but to also take steps directly towards it. In 2018, there are opportunities that our 1998 selves would perceive as unfathomable and impossible. We now live in a time where we can literally reach people all over the world in seconds by just tapping our fingers on a screen. Those who have studied this technology as it has emerged have figured out how to wrangle social media into a means to break themselves out of hourly pay struggle mode and create careers based around the things they love the most. Since 2009, I’ve been utilizing social media and the rest of the internet to show the world the music, art, and people that inspire me the most. My internet footprint led to experiences light years beyond what I once felt was possible for me and changed my life 1000%.

Me on the day I tied myself to this beautiful Subaru six years ago. I'm a completely different person now. 

Me on the day I tied myself to this beautiful Subaru six years ago. I'm a completely different person now. 

You can believe whatever you want but yesterday’s New Moon brought great change to all of our lives, myself included. One of the lessons I’ve had to keep relearning my 40 years on this Earth is that the first and easiest option that presents itself is usually not the best choice. Three great examples for you; 1) It would have been very easy to stay working at Whole Foods as a cashier and move my way up to financial stability slowly with health insurance and a 401K but I chose to cash in that 401K and start working in the music industry instead. It was the best move I could have ever made. 2) The first guy that wanted to be my boyfriend was a total douche and it would have been easy to remain stuck in his bullshit but I chose to move back to Alaska by myself and take my life in a completely new direction. 3) I married the first person that asked me because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and say no. Saying yes was the easiest option but I could have made both of us happier by taking the hard road and saying no. Happy to have this message cemented in my brain because it has helped me to choose to take @TheRingOfDOOM to London to film a miniseries on my iPhone. There is no path directly toward this goal but I’m going to make one because every step I take on this path will bring me closer to the people I admire the most. It took me 40 years to figure out that I think I can help both myself and millions of others by taking my clay fictional character around the world to highlight artists who are changing the world for the better with their art. It is because I’m sure that no one else has this exact goal that I will succeed. When I finally stopped being a follower and started to lead myself toward my own interests, I ended up right here… packing up all my art supplies and heading to Europe to change the world in the way that only I can.

I won't be packing up @TheRingOfDOOM's cardboard box apartment today so I can get some more footage before it sits in a storage unit for months.

I won't be packing up @TheRingOfDOOM's cardboard box apartment today so I can get some more footage before it sits in a storage unit for months.

The easiest thing I could do right now would be to keep the car that has been choking me with convenience for the last six years. I could figure out how to earn the $800 I’d need to pay for it while I am away and return to where it has inconvenience people by being in their way in two months; that would be the easiest option. To me, the beautiful car is the last relic of a life that I allowed someone else to choose for me. Last night, I wrote a script for the video I’ll make in the next couple days to sell my car. In the video, I’ll tell both the story of the car and all the opportunities it has provided me and also why it is time for me to let it go. My goal is to travel around Europe for as long as possible and I’d really love to live in New York (or in a Sprinter van en route all the places I have yet to see) when it is time to return to the US. I will not need a car in either of these places and continuing to pay for a car I don’t need will not help me get anywhere. When I worked at an Alaskan resort in the late nineties, most of the senior citizen tourists that came through would tell us that they wished they had traveled when they were younger. My time to travel is now, I’m leaving a week from today and I cannot drive to the places I want to go.

After I move all the belongings I love enough to keep in a storage unit indefinitely (LOL), I won’t need the car anymore. I will film the video that will both highlight the car’s value AND introduce people to the direction I am taking with my life. To do this, I will face one of my greatest fears and get on the otherside of the camera. Getting over this hurdle I’ve created to prevent myself from reaching my infinite potential will lead me directly toward the long journey that is my destination. I created this timeline for myself because I always perform my best when there is a deadline. The time is right now for me to move all this stuff to my storage unit and live out of a suitcase and a backpack for months; it will be the most excellent adventure I will have had so far. If I continue to hide, my progress will stop right here and this blog would need a new name. There is no more time for procrastination, it is time to do.. right now. I'm leaving a week from today. 

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     10 Minute Stretch

3.     Go For A Walk

4.     Blog Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also) – LISBON!!

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Mail off the recently sold eBay items

7.    Take a load of stuff to my storage unit so I can show the world where I’ve been living while I figured out my life’s mission with a car load less clutter.

8.    Prep my car for a goodbye and start making it pretty for whoever buys it.

9.   Finally release my Lisbon post into the world so I can move onto Barcelona.

10.  Take the box of CD’s I’ve prepped to sell to Everyday Music

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Paul Simon – “Kodachrome” 1973  I cannot wait to share the photos I take in Europe and to see how my crazy project develops. There are at least a dozen Paul Simon songs that send me directly down memory lane when the first notes play. All of these memories became more vibrant after working with Paul Simon’s team a few months ago. Whenever I begin to doubt my vision or feel that my dreams are too big, I remind myself that by following my own path, I have evolved into someone who has disappointed Lauryn Hill by having the audacity to smile at her when driving her around, shown Dave Navarro where his makeup table is, driven world famous rappers around the country, headnodded Eddie Vedder and didn’t look back after I realized who he was, worked for Tom Petty’s documentary team, made some of my favorite musicians laugh, had Robin Williams yell “Hi Liz” to me from across a parking lot, turned my music blog into a roster of artists I’ve worked with, and had some of the most famous people in the world in the backseat of my car. If I was meant to work a regular job and follow a more traditional path, I would not have had these experiences… but I did choose to run towards my biggest dreams, and the opportunities keep getting bigger. Contemplating what may happen next has all the hairs on my arms standing at attention and the only way I will find out is to keep moving forward. It's time to pack.

Day 40 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 40

Here we are eight days away from my departure and I’m still reeling in my thoughts about how I actually plan to make this happen. I greatly aspire to earn some sort of grant or large chunk of money (in addition to my Bumbershoot check & deposit return on my studio) but for the most part I MUST learn how to make money remotely very soon. There are infinite ways to do this in 2018 but the key to all of them is either reaching out to those creating these opportunities or kicking so much ass that they come to me. Both of these require immediate action that I am ready to take.

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Last November while en route back to Seattle from Minneapolis after the second leg of Brother Ali’s The #OwnLightTour I felt the call to find a place to make art. I found that place, made the art, and learned infinite things about myself in the process. I had spent six weeks before the tour exploring the US in my Subaru (sleeping in my car 90% of the time) and found the hardest part was finding a place to just be and create. My world changed drastically with the first leg of the tour and I now find myself unable to settle for anything remotely normal again because I have experienced the pure joy of a rap tour. I love the art I made over the last nine months more than I thought I would but I discovered that if I chose to go all in on this particular talent, I’d be spending most of my time alone sorting, cutting, and gluing tiny pieces of paper. I will make art until my last day on this planet but that is not the path that will make me the happiest.

The happiest moments of my life have all been related to my love of music and art. Every opportunity I’ve created for myself was rooted in me showing the world the things I love the most. My interest in the Seattle Hip Hop scene inspired me to start my own music blog back in 2009 that would later serve to be my resume and continue to show the world what I’m all about. By showing the website I had curated to the right person, I was able to immerse myself in the music world and work my way through the ranks at a shocking speed. My (not) secret goal was always to learn exactly how the music industry is working and who the key players are so I could create a path around the mainstream. Seattle is too small for me to tell the story of my music career fully at this time, but, I will say that the white men in power in the music industry are worse than I originally thought and that jumping off the corporate music ladder headfirst into poverty was one of the best decisions I ever made. It is 1000% times better to get hired by the artist’s team directly even if the job offers only show up sporadically. The best thing I can do for both myself and the artists I hope to help reach their maximum potential is to create opportunities for all of us to shine on a global level. One more show at a small bar that is solely attended by other musicians will not help them to get out of struggle mode. I’m sure we can all agree that music is art; so why is it that visual artists can make millions off one piece of art when musicians can inspire millions with one song art and receive very little or no compensation? The answer to that question if fairly obvious to those who are paying attention, but, what is important is what I hope to do about it.

THE TIMELAPSE VIDEO I POSTED ON YOUTUBE YESTERDAY 

Seattle is a wonderful city but all the signs are telling me that it is time to move on. Every step I take above my own bullshit shows me that the only thing holding me back is me; this is obvious to everyone to knows me. I believe so strongly that I MUST go to Europe right now that I’m abandoning all stability and ridding myself of most of my material possessions to make it happen. Yes it is kind of crazy but this is the perfect time to quote Seal, “we’re never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy.”

After an epic hour and a half conversation with my youngest sister (who just got an MPC!!!) just now, I’ve resolved to make it a priority to try to sell my car before I go and to ask for help doing so. Releasing this vehicle will free me from more than just financial burden, it will close the door on the residual effects of my marriage. I could not be happier to have learned the lessons I did being married to the wrong person but the lessons I learned by being brave enough to get divorced are much more valuable. Letting someone else choose what I prioritized was stupid and six years after my happy divorce, it’s time to slam the door on all that bullshit and take my life in the direction I want to go. Before I met my ex my goal was to figure out how to move to London and it has taken me sixteen years to get back on track. It’s time to go.

I’ll be figuring out how to formally get rid of my car in the coming days but the pricetag is $10,741 to break even on my beautiful 2012 Subaru Outback. Still trying to figure out how to monetize the fact that Ariana Grande (and too many rappers to name) has been in my car but not really. (Side note: sending all my love her way, anyone who blames her for the death of Mac Miller is an asshole.) I cannot wait to see how I take action towards my best life in the next week. I plan on ripping my shell off and showing myself and the rest of the world what I can do when I’m no longer afraid and it’s going to be fucking awesome.

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     10 Minute Stretch

3.     Go For A Walk

4.     Blog Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also) - LISBON

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Tidy up my sister and brother-in-law’s place and pick them up from the airport

7.      Start packing up my studio so I can move most of it to my storage unit tomorrow.

8.       Listen to my own brain and take notes

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Nas – “I Can” 2002  This is a perfect example of how a song can be a banger while also having an excellent message.

Day 38 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 38

Today I was surprised to wake up and think, “ooo, what can I do tomorrow?” This could only be the procrastinator in me who is just afraid to start filming myself, or, the fact that I stayed up til 5:30am watching videos from two of my new favorite heroes, Casey Neistat and Peter McKinnon. If you’re paying attention to the YouTube nation, you have likely already heard of these two but I was blessed to find them while researching the Patreon videos of those who have successfully utilized the platform. I realized that I’ve been doing the world a disservice by NOT filming my adventures. I make it a point to do the most interesting stuff possible and always have more fun if I’m making something too. Great examples… the day I went to North Bend/Snoqualmie to film a Twin Peaks tribute with @TheRingOfDOOM and going on rap tours. Since I grew up in this area and we were always into free entertainment, I visited Snoqualmie Falls and the surrounding areas more times than I can count but the process of making the video made it a whole new experience.  

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One of the best things I learned from two of my new favorite YouTubers is the beauty of B-Roll footage. Without really knowing what it means, I’ve acquired quite a bit of amazing B-Roll because I like filming weird stuff. Watching Casey’s videos in particular, helped me to realize that there is much to be gained by being brave enough to just film it all and that wearing sunglasses is more than okay. The life I will be living on this Europe trip will be both inspiring, beautiful, hilarious, and will show the world places they don’t often see. By showing them what I’m seeing and allowing them into my weird world, I may get closer to being able to afford food on the trip… so I must. Visiting Porto showed me the joys and financial benefits of exploring the smaller cities in a country so while I will be heading to London and Paris, I plan to spend most of my time in the cities that have gotten less press over the years. It may be the galleries and artists from the city that somehow found my Instagram but I’m feeling the call to Rotterdam and I can’t wait to figure out why. Other cities I have on my list are Bristol, Manchester, Liverpool, Edinburgh, Belfast, Stavanger, Copenhagen, Oslo, Madrid, Marseilles, Bordeaux, Florence, Naples, and everywhere else really. I couldn’t be more confident that my adventures will be weirder, and therefore way more interesting, than those who have gone before me only IF I’m brave enough to be myself in front of the camera. A 40 year old woman traveling with an MF DOOM based fictional character will probably make a very different video than a twenty-something influencer-type who wants to hit the clubs. Until I’m able to firmly grasp the assistance of a team, I get to explore myself as a filmmaker and continue to make the weirdest stuff possible on my own terms.

In the past, my creativity ran out almost exactly the moment I realized I’d be out of money in a few days and my @TheRingOfDOOM US TOUR stopped dead in its tracks approximately twelve hours into Texas as I was heading further south into areas where sleeping in my car at night would be way too sweaty to become a reality. Looking back on the still unused footage I’m realizing that the missing link is the B-Roll footage. I was so caught up on getting shots with @TheRingOfDOOM in it that I neglected to capture the scenery for the most part. Had I been vlogging at the time, my story would be so much different and it likely would have helped me stay on top of the depression that held me back at the time. Watching the sizzle reels of the videographers I worked with at Bumbershoot and the videos of Casey Neistat and Rob McKinnon showed me how far I have to go on this journey but as long as I can stay on top of my mindstate, I’m going to have a blast learning how to make better videos and my progression will be wicked awesome.

Last night at approximately 4:30am was when I decided I must go to the woods today for further reflection and to see what kind of footage I’m called to create today. After I finish this post and promote it, I’m heading to the woods for the first time in way too long to gather both my thoughts and also footage to set the scene of Washington as a whole for my Patreon video. It is not a new concept that the pursuit of money can halt artists in their tracks and that struggle mode prevents artists from maximizing their potential on a daily basis. I began to seek out financial stability outside of the music industry so I can afford to keep working with musicians and have every intention of using the platform I create to highlight the artists that inspire me. For the most part, the money issue has been why I’m a Delusional Optimist and not just an Optimist. I wholeheartedly believe that the universe will provide me with everything I need once I figure out what that is and to this day it has proven to be true. While there are many things at this time that would make my life easier and/or healthier; I have more than what I need to survive and am in a better position than most of the people on this planet in spite of my lack of health insurance, a stable income, food money, and a permanent home. We get to prioritize whatever we want in our lives and by choosing travel as my main priority, I’ve abandoned what normal people feel they need to survive in search of adventure and this is why I must show people my story and bring them along with me. The only way I will make this work is by allowing myself the headspace to develop this idea to its fullest.

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     10 Minute Stretch

3.     Go For A Walk In The Woods and get some great footage

4.     Blog Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also) - LISBON

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.      Further work on Lisbon post.

7.    Further work on freeing up space on my laptop and phone for new adventures. (I’ve spent many hours of the last few days on this boring but vital task).

8.   Make plan for exit of studio space and of the final footage I’ll get in the space for my Patreon video.

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Chris Whitley – “Big Sky Country” 1991  This song has remained a constant in my life since listening to the song on cassette in the family Suburban on road trips through big sky country in the early nineties. I know from experience how many places in the middle of the US that are the perfect spot to play this song and am headed there today.

Day 33 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 33

Yesterday’s “work” shift for the video team filming Bumbershoot was another truly wonderful day. Once again, the people I reconnected with brought joy to my caffeinated heart and learning from professional ass kickers is always wicked awesome. I maintain my stance that I have one of the best jobs at Bumbershoot and couldn’t be more excited for what today will bring. I completed one 90-minute work block of daily blog/Instagram before work and was able to show some rad people how great of a worker I am.

J. Cole sharing his soul on stage at Bumbershoot.

J. Cole sharing his soul on stage at Bumbershoot.

This morning, I officially let the keepers of my art studio know that I’ll be moving out before I leave for Europe. Feels weird to know that I won’t officially have my own place to go when I get back in two months but my world will then be too large to confine myself in a 10x10 cube anyway. I’ve had zero contact from Carter Subaru in Ballard where I bought my car after reaching out to them and I’m more than disappointed that they did not respond at all. When you spend $36,000 somewhere, returning your email is kind of expected. I still love that damn car even though I’ve never been in a position to own it but whatever happens with it I’ll never spend another dollar at their dealership again. Still maintain that if I could somehow monetize that Ariana Grande has been in my car, all my financial troubles would be over. Mostly, yet not really kidding.

King Of Ballard AKA Grynch On The Mural Stage

King Of Ballard AKA Grynch On The Mural Stage

In the month of September, I completed 158 ninety-minute work blocks. This works out to be 237 hours and/or 7.6 hours per day (no weekends when you must create a career for yourself). The progress I made on my art in this time amazes me and I can’t wait to see how it evolves over the next few years. I spent the least amount of time on things I was doing just for the money; in hindsight it was foolish but I maintain that playing it safe is a terrible idea (as I write this I can almost hear The Don Gary Vaynerchuk telling me to be practical). One of the epic waste of time surveys I did on Swagbucks recently that earned me a whopping one penny asked if I had gambled in the last 30 days. I answered no but really I’m gambling on myself every day because I know the odds are stellar.

I’ll be housesitting a bit over the next two weeks so my routine will be different but it will be nice to have a whole kitchen for a while. I plan on using the time to strategically repack my storage unit with only the things I love enough to keep in boxes for years (such a ridiculous statement), releasing the rest via sales/donations, and seeking out ways to fund my trip. The reaction I get when I tell people about my storyboarded @TheRingOfDOOM miniseries that starts with him drinking the water in Bristol reinforces that I’m attempting something truly unique that can bring joy to so many people’s lives. I couldn’t be more confident that I am the ONLY person trying to do this exact thing so technically I have a monopoly on all things @TheRingOfDOOM related but it’s 100% on me to learn to communicate my ideas so others can get a clear view of what I plan to accomplish. Communication has never been one of my strengths but as with everything, one gets better with practice.

Stoked for these guys that they got to go to perform at Red Rocks as their trio with Grieves, Greater Than, a couple days ago with Atmosphere and Evidence. These are some great humans.

Stoked for these guys that they got to go to perform at Red Rocks as their trio with Grieves, Greater Than, a couple days ago with Atmosphere and Evidence. These are some great humans.

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     10 Minute Stretch

3.     Go For A Walk

4.     Blog Post On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also)

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.    Remember to eat.

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Rhye – “Open” 2013   Still having a moment with all things Rhye. I first posted this song back in March 2013 in a compilation of Music Videos Featuring Confetti and it has maintained currently overplaying status to this day.

Day 30 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 30

The days that I go to my storage unit usually feel like a big waste of time. It can be tricky to get down to business and just put stuff on eBay when you’ve just been reunited with your long lost CD collection or music machine you thought was broken. The question that keeps making me actually list the items is, “if I end up finding a way to stay in Europe for a year or so via Patreon (or however it works out), will I be glad I’ve got this CD in a box across the world?” Or ”in what situation would I actually ever use this”  (works great for old CDs). Some of the CDs I actually kept because (the opposite of delusional optimism) after the apocalypse, streaming music services may be dead but we can rig up bicycles or rivers to make energy to power CD players. I actually pictured myself smiling next to a fire listening to a Jenny Lewis CD in a post-apocalyptic setting yesterday, so I’m keeping that one (among many others).

Taking these Pez dispensers and paper cutout Of Gandalf to Europe to use as props in @TheRingOfDOOM’s movie about returning the ring to MF DOOM cuz if I don't do it, no one else will.

Taking these Pez dispensers and paper cutout Of Gandalf to Europe to use as props in @TheRingOfDOOM’s movie about returning the ring to MF DOOM cuz if I don't do it, no one else will.

 Yesterday I mailed my first order of this round to someone I realized I already knew. I love that it’s not surprising to me that I would know someone who would buy 90s rap cassettes on the internet. I seem to have used up my free auction listings so I started listing CDs at a Buy It Now price to see if they moved faster. I sold Kanye’s College Dropout for $2.99 just a few hours after it was listed and will be mailing that off today. I am raising some money slowly but I’m thinking pennies so that’s what I’m getting. When you start using the apps that pay you two cents for watching 20 minutes of videos, you know you’re on the wrong track. Most of us wouldn’t even take two seconds to bend over and pick up a penny but I still made $1 on Swagbucks yesterday without really trying. Upon further reflection, since most of the things I sell on eBay will likely only sell for a few dollars (if at all), it is a much better use of my time to see if the bookstores, music stores, and clothing stores want to buy my items, get rid of the rest, and get back to making art. I haven’t made any new art in over a week because I’ve been so focused on raising money a few dollars at a time. This is how poor people stay poor. My time would have been much better spent marching around Seattle’s artsiest areas with my creations asking galleries if I could put one of my pieces in the next Art Walk (way too late on that one but may still try). Yesterday’s efforts (including my one eBay sale) totaled $74 AND I relieved myself of three boxes of books I’ll never have to carry again.

All that said, since I have yet to sell any art (because I haven’t really showed it to any one), the best way for me to make money right now is to work. So I said yes to the random job offer that floated my way yesterday via email. While I resisted working Bumbershoot at first because I vowed to never help make the evil corporate music empire look good again, I said yes to the offer yesterday to be a PA for the team doing the video at Bumbershoot. Since I’m being paid by someone who is being paid by AEG, I’ve justified it morally but the truth is that I’d be in a way better situation financially if I wasn’t so romantic about how I make my money. It is important how we make our money and I have chosen to vote with my dollar AND my labor against corporations (steps off podium). That said, I’m sure I will have a fabulous time and learn a lot. I love that I get to learn from a professional video team again in the weeks before I head to Europe to make movies on my iPhone. The only other time I’ve worked for the video team at an event was when I was randomly offered to work the Tom Petty Show last summer a few days before taking @TheRingOfDOOM on a credit card funded video tour of the US (one of my duties that day was to stand next to someone in case they needed something while filming Tom Petty in the hallway/blessed). Still amazed by the people that pop into my life and when they choose to appear. Shoutout to a former boss lady for the recommendation.

Ultimately, it will be great to see the hundreds of people I expect to see again at Bumbershoot this weekend and the paycheck will take some pressure off. I always have fun working festivals and love to see how many miles I walk throughout the weekend. Sometimes I forget how good I am at this sort of work and how flattered I used to be when asked to work alongside my heroes. It still hurts sometimes when I see the show calendar of people I won’t be working with but then I remember that the best people will hire me directly if it was meant to be. Nothing felt better than being hired directly by Tyler, The Creator’s team at Sasquatch and those are the jobs I love to say yes to. All inner turmoil about morality aside, my favorite memory from the last time I worked Bumbershoot was when El-P did a double take when he saw my Quasimoto shirt (it’s the little things, still never met him even though we have mutual friends).

A few of the too many imperfect belt buckles I’ve made.

A few of the too many imperfect belt buckles I’ve made.

 The only goal I did NOT complete yesterday was working on setting up my Patreon, likely the one thing that will help me the most. I have been studying the art of Patreon and believe I have come up with some great rewards people may actually want. The video portion, as expected, is the part I’m slacking on the most. As of now my rewards are looking to be…

$1  - Access to photo feed of images not on Instagram

$5  - Access to vlog (I’ll be seeing too many beautiful things to not do it)

$10- Included in the polls about photos to be printed, destinations, zine themes etc

$25- Collaged Postcard mailed from wherever I am at that time

$50- 6 photo prints mailed

$250- Original handmade collage photo zine mailed

$500- Local snack pack of 12 items – one of a kind analog collage

$1000- photo book of city/theme of your choice

$5000- large framed collage shipped to you

The higher priced tiers would include all the items of the lower tiers. I love this idea of a collaged postcard so much and would really love to get something like this from a traveling artist. When I market it in the right way to the right people, it will work. Any feedback on this is welcomed! I thrive in situations where people are expecting things from me and would genuinely love to be a working artist traveling in Europe. And so it will be…

My daily blogs will be shorter and my goals will be limited for the next three days while I work the festival but they’ll probably include some great photos and interesting stories. Then on Monday, I'll get to mail off whatever has sold from this round of eBay sales. 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     10 Minute Stretch

3.     Go For A Walk

4.     Two Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also) – 2-3 blocks

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Go to Sonic Boom, Buffalo Exchange to relieve myself of more stuff I don’t need.

7.      Email two favorite Seattle gallery owners about showing them my work for feedback and to Museum Crash with TheRingOfDOOM

8.     Find out if I can pro-rate my last month in my studio so I can pay less if possible.

9.     Tidy up studio so I can move around well again.

10.    Make some art dammit!

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Gerry Rafferty – “Right Down The Line” 1978  I’m having a revival with this song after doing the final edit on my Adult Contemporary playlist. I see the ideal scenario for playing this song is with the windows down in the desert (this may have actually happened). Haven’t listened to this song enough yet to notice what it’s about, I’m usually too busy swaying my head and holding my heart.

Day 29 of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 29

Cassettes I'm selling on eBay at their inflated sentimental rate of $99.99 for the first round because I love them so much. When I debated if I loved them more than I'd love to be in Europe, I listed them immediately.

Cassettes I'm selling on eBay at their inflated sentimental rate of $99.99 for the first round because I love them so much. When I debated if I loved them more than I'd love to be in Europe, I listed them immediately.

Happy to say that the only goal I didn’t complete yesterday was to go for a walk. I’ve heard walks are supposed to be for exercise but I much prefer to walk as means of exploration and photography. Going for a walk starting from my studio is not fun anymore because I’ve spent too many years in this area… nothing is new here. At this time when I debate going on a walk, I always just get going on the next work block instead. I do have many more photos and videos to take before I leave Seattle in a few weeks, but I have work to before that happens.

I’ve had the misfortune/fortune to have my surviving credit card suffer from fraudulent use. This is only a good thing because it happened before I leave the country, I have to wait 7-10 days for a new card. It was to help me finish paying for this months bills so today I’ll be scraping together as much cash as I can find to make those payments by the 1st. Still remain confident that working hourly is a waste of time because it could never add up fast enough to be worth my effort. Since I sell mostly inexpensive things, my eBay endeavors tend to be extremely small change but the bonus side of that is that with every item I sell, I have one less thing to leave in my storage unit. Still likely a waste of time but I’d rather list stuff on eBay than serve whiskey to people who should stop drinking.

 

EBAY PROGRESS AT THIS TIME…

-       I finalized one sale already because someone made an offer for twice what I was asking for some rap cassettes; leaving the studio today to mail it off!

-       3 of my 61 items for sale on eBay currently have bids.

-       9 of my items have watchers

I've been taking hundreds of photos like this lately... feel free to pay me to take photos of your products. I'll make them look cooler, I promise.

I've been taking hundreds of photos like this lately... feel free to pay me to take photos of your products. I'll make them look cooler, I promise.

As you can see, I have a long way to go but once I publish this, I’ll be heading out into the world to scrape together as much funds as possible to put directly into an ATM. I remain confident that these earthly money troubles are almost behind me but for now it’s time to liquidate my assets (this mostly means media). It is completely obvious to me and anyone paying attention, that my troubles are 100% of my own making but that was my choice to make. Still loving that I’ve allowed myself to go this far on my creative journey and I can’t wait to see how I make this happen.

One of the items I was intending to sell was my Roland SP555. The last dozen times I turned it on, it just shut itself off again but when I turned it on a couple days ago, it was working almost as well as when I first got it. I ended up spending a full 90 minute work block loving what I made on the music machine but I still don’t have the means to extract it from the buttons and onto a computer. The only music I’ve ever made was this collage of quotes from movies/songs that tells the story of my failed marriage. It’s totally a downer but I had to let that story out to move onto the next thing. Now that the 555 works again, I might love it enough to keep it locked up while I’m having adventures but that sounds more stupid every time I say/write it. So much easier to let it go when I thought I’d be able to make a few bucks from someone who knows how to fix them instead of giving up something that actually works.

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     10 Minute Stretch

3.     Go For A Walk

4.     Two Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also) – 2-3 blocks

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Head to storage unit with boxes of stuff ready to store. Sell least favorite books/music at Half Price Books and see if anyone wants to buy any of the clothing I’ve had sitting around. Put money directly in the bank. Look for more items to sell on eBay.

7.     Collage cleanup

8.    Try to sell SmartTV on OfferUp or Craigslist

9.    Coinstar

10.   Spotify work block

11.    Lisbon writeup

12. 90 minute block of setting up Patreon for launch on the 1st.

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Joey Bada$$ - “Paper Trail$” 2015  You can earn more money but you can never get time back. I know that if I decide to keep my earthly possessions and set myself up for stability right now, I’ll regret it when I’m older. I’ve never been more ready to do something in my whole life (obviously I don’t count financials into this).

Day 28 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 28

I feel like I got a lot done yesterday even though it didn’t fall exactly in line with my goal list. I didn’t go for a walk, drink enough water, or stretch because I was too excited about finishing up my travel video for Lisbon. I ended up spending four 90 minute work blocks editing, uploading, and fine-tuning the video. I had no intention of making the footage into a travel video so it ended up looking like a fan video sandwiched in between the only footage of myself speaking to the camera. I did not grind away at my finished collages with the metal file or work on any new collages. I did list one item for sale on eBay but I’m gonna have to kick way more ass to make this happen.

Detail of my Giant’s Causeway collage, can’t wait to see it in person soon.

Detail of my Giant’s Causeway collage, can’t wait to see it in person soon.

Three weeks left until I depart and I have so much to do. Most of it isn’t that fun but it’ll be worth it when I’m getting on that plane. Now that I’ve opened up my world on a global level, Seattle seems way too small for what I have in mind for myself. I feel so strongly about making this adventure happen, I’m willing to give up everything I have to see it through. I hope to have everything I own contained in one storage unit by the time I leave. This includes letting go of my car… the big one. The blue book value is the closest it’s ever been to not being an upside down car loan so the time is now. Even if I end up coming back to the US, I hope to live somewhere in a city where I don’t need a car… like New York, somewhere along the light rail in Seattle, or somewhere else I haven’t considered yet. If/when I decide to get another car, it will have tinted windows and most likely it will be a van so I can better use it to go on adventures.

I’ll be creating a Patreon account over the next week or so and I can’t wait to share all the rewards I’ve come up with. One of the rewards will be access to watching my vlog, a big step for me because I’m camera shy but facing my fears has worked out well every single time so far. Documenting my daily excuses has proven to be very eye opening and I would recommend the threat of public humiliation as a motivator to anyone (may not work if you’ve stopped giving too many fucks).

One of my favorite things I learned yesterday is that once I get to 400 followers on a Spotify playlist, I can apply to get paid to be a curator that filters through new music via Playlist Push. At 68 followers on my Hip Hop playlist, I still have a long way to go but since most of those appeared overnight, I have faith I can make that happen slowly but surely if I focus my efforts. I fell asleep halfway through my sixth work block yesterday while adding new songs to playlists. My favorite thing about making playlists is that it makes my life better so I’m scratching my own itch (something my heroes say will get me everywhere).

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     10 Minute Stretch

3.     Go For A Walk

4.     Two Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also) – 2-3 blocks

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     At least two blocks of listing items on ebay first before I work on fun stuff

7.     Collage cleanup

8.     Lisbon post...

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Alex Da Kid, H.E.R., Rapsody – “Go” 2018  This is one of my most overplayed tracks so far from my upcoming September playlist still under construction. 

Day 27 Of Delusional Optimist’s Guide To Achieving The I’mPossible

Day 27

Waking up knowing it’s time to prep to leave the country feels good. I know there is a lot of work to do but I love that stuff. Every time I go through the many items in my storage unit, I look at it through new eyes. Like most of us, I have tons of stuff just sitting in boxes in storage because I like them just enough to keep them. For me this is mostly media; aside from kitchen stuff, the bulk of my belongings are boxes of CDs, DVDs, books, and magazines. Previously, I made a rule for myself that I must either use it or get rid of it. This is how I ended up starting to collage so it has been working out well. I do love my book collection but I’ve already read all those books. They make me smile when I look at them but when everything goes as planned, I will not have a bookshelf in the US to put my books on. When you move as often as I have, it really makes you question why you’re keeping all this stuff. I still need a few more days to consider letting go of my CDs even though those have been boxed up since before I moved most of my belongings to a storage unit. The books and CDs remain in my storage unit for now but I have started to put cassettes and DVDs up for sale. I’ll be bringing them somewhere local to try and sell them if eBay doesn’t work. If you're interested in seeing what I have for sale, HERE's the link to my shop.

I'm selling a 5x7 canvas print of @TheRingOfDOOM's first photo on eBay. I've posted over 700 photos since this was taken. 

I'm selling a 5x7 canvas print of @TheRingOfDOOM's first photo on eBay. I've posted over 700 photos since this was taken. 

Speaking of moving, I’m the type of person that only owns items that fit inside my Subaru that I can carry myself. I did this on purpose so I could move from place to place without the assistance of others. This is a metaphor for my whole life which is why my plans for the next few weeks are so scary. I’m hoping to sell some of my large pieces of art to help fund my Europe trip but I also have plans to start a Patreon. I’ve been researching what works and what doesn’t and I think I have some ideas on how to make it work for me. It’ll be an interesting process throughout which I will learn a lot about myself, but I will get that going in a few more days.

It’s looking like I’ll be moving out of my studio in the days before I leave for Europe so I don’t have to pay for it while I’m gone. If I do that AND release my car, I’ll be in a much better position to not only pay for my trip to Europe but to potentially stay for longer. The more things I let go, the freer I feel.

R&B cassingle six pack for sale on eBay.

R&B cassingle six pack for sale on eBay.

Yesterday, I completed 7 ninety minute work blocks. I did not go for a walk because I felt inclined to just keep going. Three of the blocks were spent listing items for sale on eBay, two on website/Instagram, half a work block on sanding resin collages, and the rest on Spotify. I quickly learned that grinding epoxy resin down isn’t something I’m yet able to do for 90 minutes in a row. Right now it’s basically sawing at resin with a metal file for long periods of time. Here’s hoping that by the time I get buff enough to do that for 90 minutes straight, that I’ll have already finished cleaning up all my collages. The tape method I learned from Reddit will save me too many hours to count. I’d like to polish up my big collages before I bring them somewhere for evaluation so I won’t be heading into town until that is completed.

Since I turned off the Instagram notifications and deleted the Facebook app from my phone a few weeks back, I’ve been better at using my time wisely. Now that I have items for sale on eBay, it’s hard to stop myself from looking at what is selling. Out of the 40 items I have listed, two have bids so far. If they don’t cancel their bids, I will have made $6 so I’m totally crushing it.

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     10 Minute Stretch

3.     Go For A Walk

4.     Two Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also) – 2-3 blocks

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     At least two work blocks of listing items for sale on Ebay

7.     Collage clean up session x 2

8.     Block of Lisbon travel write-up

9.     New collage work block on ugly striped canvas

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Everything Is Recorded, Sampha, Ibeyi, Wiki, Kamasi Washington – “Mountains Of Gold” 2017  This combo of artists amazes me.

Day 26 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 26

I couldn’t be more excited about my renewed decision to make this trip to Europe happen. One of the things that changed my mind was the realization that the credit cards I wanted to take to Europe were maxxed out anyway so it shouldn’t have affected my decision in the first place. The credit union card I still have will work just fine once I pay it off with funds I’ve earned selling my art and surplus stuff. One of the jobs I didn’t get would have me working for the dark side of the music industry again so not getting that job is a blessing in disguise. The job I did work for a day and a half was at a weed store. Part of me was excited to have my foot in the door when vape lounge/music venues eventually come to fruition but mostly I realized that I do not want to be high enough to be good at that job or stay in Seattle at this time. While I do enjoy weed, I’m not enough of a smoker to be helpful to people searching out expertise. I did love the idea of serving marijuana instead of drinks because weed can cure cancer and alcohol causes whole lives to be ruined but I still don’t think its for me. The bottom line is that I did not like waking up knowing that I was part of the fixed system of minimum wage jobs even if it would eventually get me where I want to go. In the end, I just can’t see myself doing anything but getting on that plane in 23 days.

Clay utensils and cups/bowls for TheRingOfDOOM and Eddie, his eight headed roommate. 

Clay utensils and cups/bowls for TheRingOfDOOM and Eddie, his eight headed roommate. 

 On Monday, I plan on actually getting out into the world in person to speak with people who can help me sell my art and guide me in the right direction. I’m very much looking forward to getting feedback on my creations (good or bad) and can’t wait to see the look on people’s faces when they look into the water.

Thanks to yesterday’s visit to my storage unit, my studio is now filled with stuff I’m ready to exit my life. A lot of it is sentimental but owning it will not help me get to Europe. Yes I love my DVD collection but if it has been in a box in a storage unit for a year and a half, do I really need it? Will I even miss my copy of Romancing The Stone when I’m photographing castles in France? I really don’t think so. Those of you that know me well, know that I’ve been talking about getting rid of my car for years. Owning the car helped me to get a ton of great jobs that led to the best opportunities of my life so far but they never paid me enough to actually own the car. I even went so far as to live in it so that I could afford to keep it. Knowing that some of the most famous people in the world have been in my car does not help me make the payments. Even if it ends up costing me money to get rid of the car, it’ll be worth it. Of course I love it but the places I want to go these days are not reachable by car. My current plans for that are to research the pay off amount and then email the Subaru dealership and tell them my story to see if they want the car. If only some of the people who had been in the car could be used as selling points, it would be gone in an instant. An example of who has been in my car… Ariana Grande, Mac Miller, Logic, at least half of the Rhymesayers roster, Tour Managers of your favorite rappers, etc. This close proximity to fame is part of the reason I am unable to settle for a normal life. Would you want to get a 9-5 if the last jobs you had were touring the country spreading love and driving around the team of one of the most famous rappers in the world at a music festival? I’m more than willing to give up my Earthly possessions to grant myself the opportunity to follow my internal compass to Bristol and beyond. 

Owning Heathers on DVD won’t help me get anywhere in life. 

Owning Heathers on DVD won’t help me get anywhere in life. 

Once I start setting up my life to depart the country, there will be no other option than to go. I do not want the things that most people want and I am in a position to do things and go places other people can’t because I lack roots at this time. My pursuit of enough money to stay in Seattle has distanced me from the community so it feels like I have no reason to stay even if that’s not true. At this time, I’m feeling the irresistible pull of the world and freeing myself of stuff to make it happen feels awesome… even though I have literally sold nothing yet, not even art. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be facing my biggest fears to set myself up for success and I know it will be a much better story than if I had gone to work at a weed store five days a week.

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     10 Minute Stretch

3.     Go For A Walk

4.     Two Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also) – 2-3 blocks

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     At least three work blocks of listing items for sale on Ebay

7.     Collage clean up session

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Ibeyi - “Transmission/Michaelion” 2018   It takes me awhile to know what songs are about because I’m too busy loving the sound of it. Only later once I know all the words and find myself singing them aloud do I finally realize what it’s about. This song is just so damn beautiful, I had to share.