Day 5 Of The Long Game... Moving Through The Darkness Into Light

After five months of drafts, I've finally decided not to attempt to summarize the extreme ups and downs of my life these last 5-6 months and tell you what I’m doing now. Thanks to Mr. Kenny Beats for reminding me not to overthink shit… anymore. I will say that two months of solitary confinement in my 164 square foot micro studio full of art supplies after six weeks of one of the most magical rap tours of my life led to me finally asking for help getting the much needed mental health care I deserve. I’d surely be dead if I was a dabbler in vices that could kill me. I’m grateful for my family and friends that have helped bring me into My Own Light and keep my un-caffeinated head somewhere in the orbit of the rest of my body. 2020 went nothing like I had planned but the first two and a half months were pure magic. Thanks to Dessa, Sa-Roc, Sol Messiah, Rapsody, Monakr, Khrysis, Face, Heather Victoria, Becky, and the Rhymesayers family for sharing their light with me! I even had my first solo art show in January in a coffee shop in Redmond, Washington.

I remain in love with me and all of my creative pursuits and recognize that if I don’t move forward full heart ahead, I’ll never reach even the lowest peaks of my infinite potential. So today… I blog.

Made with two images of Salvador Dalí’s “The Pearl”

Made with two images of Salvador Dalí’s “The Pearl”

Over the last week, I’ve completed four collages for the MF DALÍ collection and cooked/chopped some delicious food for myself… a remarkable feat for someone without a real kitchen. I remain so grateful for all that I have that I sometimes wonder how I could possibly need anything else… then I remember the joy of a rap tour, the satisfaction of sharing my creative pursuits with others, and that dating someone awesome could be lovely. It is the art of black people that has kept me afloat these 41 years and I know that my role will continue to be shining light on the creative humans that have provided me with so much joy. We all have roles to play in the new era of Earth and mine requires me to share the art of myself and others every single day. We’re not all built for the front lines of this battle but every role is important. I remain grateful for the humans that have been the physical tide of change this planet needed. It’s not over yet but the world is waking up which is the first step in healing. The revolution will be beautiful. 

Made with five images of Salvador Dalí’s portrait of Luis Buñuel.

Made with five images of Salvador Dalí’s portrait of Luis Buñuel.

TheRingOfDOOM did not physically survive the rap tour but he has many former (and future) bodies with which he can continue his Earth mission. The designated TROD pocket of my cargo pants isn’t the safest mode of travel and I ended up losing one of his feet when he broke last. It is possible that I may still find it but I have no shortage of photos of his adventures to tie us all over until he is whole again… likely later today.

Made with two images of Salvador Dalí’s “Unsatisfied Desires”

Made with two images of Salvador Dalí’s “Unsatisfied Desires”

I’d love to detail my many plans for the close and distant future but we already know that a goal is just a wish if we do not take action. It’s infinitely more powerful to show what we have done already. I am actively working on creating paid opportunities in LA and NY… tell your friends. It’s time to level up.

Made with two images of Dalí’s painting of Cadaques, Spain and bonus Liz water

Made with two images of Dalí’s painting of Cadaques, Spain and bonus Liz water

SONG OF THE DAY

Joey Bada$$ x Capital STEEZ - “Survival Tactics” 2012 Shoutout to Mr. Joey Bada$$ for showing us that asking for help is a good thing. We love you Joey!

Day 3 of The Long Game... Progress

I’ve been focusing all my intentions over the last few years on discovering exactly what my thing was so that I could build the tools I’d need to run right towards it. Once I fully committed to my long-deliberated goals and started actually setting up my life for a lengthy adventure, I met one of the people that inspired me to be the light in my own life... and now we get to go on this adventure together. There are so many more synchronicities in play with our upcoming collaboration... I won’t go into them here but 2020 is looking to be the most excellent year of my life so far because I’ve exited my cocoon and have started to meet people that believe in me and my creations. Two art nights in and I’ve already set this epic journey into motion… I’m a little intimidated to go back tonight because life happens so fast when it’s not happening solely contained inside one’s own brain. 

Currently selling my latest creation on eBay at a very low price as an experiment… guessing I won’t get to look at it for much longer.

Currently selling my latest creation on eBay at a very low price as an experiment… guessing I won’t get to look at it for much longer.

One of the best things about attending the art night (and recently on my #MFDALI trip) is that I discovered I’m able to make my collage art in the presence of others. It has always been a solo journey but now that I’m seeing the reactions of people when I start with 2-3 images and turn them into one right in front of them… I’m realizing more people would enjoy seeing my art in action. Tons of places have live painting or drawing events but live collaging could work too! There’s so many things to cut up and/or create with in this life, it feels irresponsible to do anything else with my days. My vision for TheRingOfDOOM and my own creativity is huge and will create opportunities for millions of people when I get it all together. 

I hope to inspire everyone I meet (or sees my content) to seek out what their own Plan A is. Most of us stop daydreaming when we reach some form of stability because we’re afraid to not have what everyone around us has but once you start releasing the bullshit, the rest starts falling into place. In order to gift myself the opportunity to create while traveling, I’m leaping into leaseless freedom again. I’ve been extremely grateful to have the time to get back to me (and conquer my debt) while in this 164 square foot apartment but I’ve allowed being rent poor to feel like a cage long enough. Even though this micro studio has felt huge at times (knee injury optimism), when my lease renewal arrived… I just couldn’t sign up for more time in this place. Since I moved in, I’ve had a list of cities I will be visiting soon on my wall as a reminder of why I’m alienating myself in this tiny apartment… I’m so close to the end of my debt relief program, I can already feel my foot on the gas pedal of my life and honestly, I’ve already left the metaphoric garage. 

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I’ve decided to grant myself the opportunity to move forward with my big ideas and have already made great progress over the last week with my endeavors as a full time artist. I stopped timing my daily endeavors once I realized that the things in this life that will fulfill me the most (human interaction) may not be officially classified as art “work” and I’m grateful to have arrived at this realization yet again. Thanks to my experimentation with many productivity techniques, I’ve been finishing more things than usual on a daily basis and it feels awesome. This past Saturday, I even completed the #GaryVeeChallenge by creating well over 64 pieces of unique social media content in one day. I actually doubled it and completed closer to 128 because once you get going, it’s hard to stop (I lost official count at 100 but kept going for 3 more hours).

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I’m currently making daily Wunderlists to track my water and food intake, art promo posts, and all the tiny things that must be done in a day if one is adulting their way to a career as a healthy full time artist. When this blog is posted, it will be my 19th completed task of the day. Most of the items on my list are easy like finishing a glass of water but I also already did laundry today and now that it’s over, it’s a win. In the past couple days, I’ve completed the first seven parts of my art timelapse video for my School Of Athens (Raphael painting) remix. I’ll likely be finishing the collage in part 8 and then I’ll be turning it into a longer form YouTube video and sharing the f*** out of it. I’ve posted the first 7 parts on TikTok already to my tiny audience of bots and have gotten a small but encouraging reaction.

Looking forward to sharing with you what I do next…


SONG OF THE DAY

Snoh Aalegra - “Peace” 2019 So much of this life is a mind game. Our perspective and gratitude has the power to transform every single day into beauty if we’ve found peace in our minds. I’m grateful to have found my own peace so I can save my own life from stagnancy and move forward.

Day 2 of The Long Game

Since I wrote last, many things in my life have changed… as they should when one is actively working toward creating their best life. The first big change is that I quit my pizza delivery job because the overwhelming negativity of some of my coworkers had made the job unbearable. Once I found the clarity that I have a choice of how to spend my days and that I was not trapped in the job, I made the easy decision to walk away. While there were definitely a few people there who encouraged me at every step in the building, the infinite potential of being surrounded by people who challenge me to think even bigger is truly mind-blowing and it’s worth it to me to take the time to seek out these people on a global scale. I’m still physically and mentally able and willing to work hourly jobs but since the goal is to work smarter, not harder… getting a new job that would serve only to keep me treading water in Seattle seems like a foolish move. Now that I know what I want to do, it physically and mentally hurts to do anything else. 

Mural by D*Face in London

Mural by D*Face in London

The second big change is that instead of finding another job that will distract me from my art journey, I’m taking another shot at being a full time artist. So here we are at yet another deadline I’ve created for myself with the help of the universe. My current lease in Capitol Hill, Seattle is up at the end of the year and it feels like the perfect time to make a big change. The only thing I want to do for the next few years is to travel the globe making art and photographing the art of others and I know it is possible. Now that I’ve experienced the joy of taking one’s art on tour (music and otherwise) and sharing your art and light with the world, I’m completely addicted and I believe that it is the way I can best be of service to this planet. As I write this, I still have yet to earn any art money but I’m actively taking steps toward changing that every day.... My webstore is linked here if you’d like to see how that’s going.

A recently made #MFDALÍ diorama.

A recently made #MFDALÍ diorama.

While I’m definitely aware that the opportunities I create and manifest for myself may end up looking very different than what I’ve imagined, I envision my 2020 living out of a suitcase making art every day in a beautiful place, following the trail of opportunities I’ve manifested. I realize this is only possible if I continue to work toward my goals daily and to press the eject button from my comfort zone. People have already been paid to do most of the things I hope to do (artist residencies, full time working artist, published Street Art Photographer, creator of graphic novel series +, creating and marketing a character, get paid to travel with my art, more stuff I haven’t thought of yet and/or are so big I won’t mention them yet) so I know everything is possible if I work hard every day, try new things, and continue to think bigger.

TheRingOfDOOM and an #MFDALÍ collage on Dalí’s grave in Museu Dalí in Figueres, Spain.

TheRingOfDOOM and an #MFDALÍ collage on Dalí’s grave in Museu Dalí in Figueres, Spain.

The third big change is that about a week after I quit this job, I assessed my finances and discovered that I could make the Europe trip happen that I’d attempted a little over a year before. Of course I should have stayed home and worked at creating reliable streams of income but I must follow my internal compass and reach for true happiness at every opportunity. A last minute ticket was purchased and I went to Figueres and Cadaques in Spain to photograph my #MFDALÍ art in the Dali museums. MF mission accomplished… working on developing this whirlwind experience into more digestable social media content as I write this. I also was able to take TheRingOfDOOM to Bristol for his long-awaited transformation. Instead of merely drinking the water of Bristol, both my fictional character and I were soaked through with Bristol rain multiple times during our stay. Neither of us will ever be the same and the trip was truly the transformation I was seeking. I spent the last chunk of my trip in the Shoreditch area of London which is most definitely one of my favorite places on the planet… so far.

Stik mural as seen in Shoreditch, London

Stik mural as seen in Shoreditch, London

My current system for maximizing the potential of every day is to have a stopwatch running every time I’m doing something that would be considered work if I was doing it for another. It makes a ton of sense to me to spend at least one month working 8 hours a day/40 hours a week (plus way more) at creating a sustainable art career for myself before giving up and getting another job (I do realize there are more options here). I’m on my third day of tracking my art hours and it’s going great so far. I’m wholeheartedly convinced that the ROI of investing this time in myself is infinite and that every minute I spend working on my art is worth it… even if it has yet to pay off financially, I know it will. If I work half as hard for myself as I do for others, my endeavors will have no choice but to succeed. I’m grateful that I’ve gifted myself the opportunity to reach for this goal.

My latest MFDALÍ collage.

My latest MFDALÍ collage.

As usual, I have A LOT more to say about all these things but it’s time to take action instead of overthinking and continuing to strategize. I’m currently actively working on creating a collaged set for a stop motion music video, a new sellable 12”x12” space collage, making timelapse videos of my art process, adding old art to my webstore to open doors to art money, creating new daily habits to maximize health, productivity, and happiness, plus creating a whole buffet of new content highlighting me and my art journey. Looking forward to seeing what I make happen next…


SONG OF THE DAY

Heart “Straight On” 1978 (the year I was born) Never underestimate the infinite power of a 41 year old woman who is actively wrangling her personal demons and turning them into art.

Day 1 of The Long Game... Still Optimistic, Much Less Delusional

Last year when I began my blog, The Delusional Optimist’s Guide To Achieving The I’mPossible, I felt the only quick way out of my five figure pit of debt was to make something truly epic happen. That remains true which is why I am still in debt a year later. Had I been at the top of my game, it may have been possible to simply swing from one adventure to the next and find money on the way but I was operating in survival mode and was unable to make the trip (or life) happen. Instead, when it came time to leave for my three month trip to Europe, I had only $50 and was a few weeks from developing pneumonia due to substituting coffee for food to save money (anxiety sandwich). Today I am still in five figure debt but since I started The Long Game of repayment last year, I’ve paid off almost $10K in combined credit card and car debt, happily live alone in a 164 square foot apartment, and recently purchased another ticket to London for May 2020.

Took this MF DALÍ collage for a walk.

Took this MF DALÍ collage for a walk.

It is true that squatting in my $300/month art studio for nine months had allowed me the perceived financial freedom to go on tours with rappers and follow my internal compass to NY and LA but ultimately, the extreme highs and lows of coming home from a rap tour to a place I wasn’t supposed to sleep was rough on my soul (that said, I would do it all again in an instant). On the plus side, my damaged soul helped me to step my art up immensely during the time I lived in the 100 square foot art studio. I will forever be grateful for the art journey but am well aware that I was unable to make the most of the opportunities I encountered while living there and I’m still in the process of letting that go.

Finally cut up this checkered floor I found in an 80’s photography magazine.

Finally cut up this checkered floor I found in an 80’s photography magazine.

For the nine months I lived there, I didn’t really reach out to anyone to network new music opportunities and was making most of my money working a super part-time catering job because I wanted to be able to go on last minute tours when asked. ALL of my attempts to make money flipping stuff on eBay at this time were a fail because my tastes are so obscure that no one wanted the weird stuff I had acquired… example, the eight headed mink stole I recently threw away because I was afraid to open the bag and look at it after it had been in storage for a year. On the plus side, I did make some truly weird TheRingOfDOOM videos with Eddie The Eight Headed Mink Snake before I threw him out and even made $35 profit off of a box of human teeth I found at a Goodwill Outlet. Even though I was in dire straits financially, I still paid all my bills on time until the debt relief program advised me to do otherwise. My credit remains intact even though I was not.

Tried to make this MF DALÍ collage move with stop motion but technical difficulties halted me in my tracks.

Tried to make this MF DALÍ collage move with stop motion but technical difficulties halted me in my tracks.

 I had initially thought that the roots of my financial despair were my ridiculously expensive car, capitalism, and overextending myself so that I could live alone. In hindsight, I now know that the real roots of ALL my despair are that I had yet to tackle my own traumas. It is true that the initial cause of my childhood trauma is not my fault but neglecting to investigate how the shame affected my life for so long is on me. After only a year of extracting lessons and examining my own behavior under my overthinking microscope, I’m already infinitely better at standing up for myself, recognizing when I’m being disrespected, and walking away.

Having once miserably settled for a life that other people thought I should live, I’m unwilling to settle ever again. One of the most surprising things about working toward one’s goals is realizing how many people are threatened by the thought of you succeeding. When you aspire to go beyond what they’ve settled for, it makes them uncomfortable and it comes out in weird ways. I once had a guy tell me that my ambition is off-putting to men and that it was likely why I was single. This is laughable for so many reasons but mostly because it is true. I’ve yet to have a relationship in which my partner does not try to discourage me from my living my best life. Being single for the bulk of seven years has helped me to shed most of the layers of bullshit the weak men of my past have burdened me with and to actually have the clarity to discover what my best life is. Now that I know what I want to do with my life, I’m avoiding real human connection so I can focus on me for the first time… I will find a balance eventually.

 

My latest non MF DALÍ collage.

My latest non MF DALÍ collage.

Now that I’ve found financial stability (still in debt but the end is in sight) and am emerging from survival mode, I believe that a delusional optimist makes a better story than it does a life and I’ve activated the patience required to accomplish something huge. I’m still happy that I documented my journey because I hope it can help others to tackle what is holding them back and move forward. Working in the music industry was one of the most rewarding experiences of my entire life and I do hope to work with musicians ‘til the end of my days but stepping away from the gig economy into the glamorous world of pizza delivery saved my life. Now instead of working 5-7 different part time gigs and coming up short every month, I’m able to make a living (and a savings account) at one job working less than 40 hours a week at a locally owned company that respects their employees. My work day consists of consuming art podcasts, audiobooks, and music in my own little mobile universe while driving around Seattle looking for more places to photograph. Working with younger people who do not yet feel trapped by the lives they’ve created for themselves is magical; they are not uncomfortable by the thought of me succeeding and encourage me every step of the way. I truly love seeing my stickers on their skateboards, water bottles, guitars, printers etc. It’s an ideal scenario in which I’d still be able to go on tour and have a job to come back to when the right offer presents itself. I could not be more grateful for this job and the opportunity to focus on my creative projects.

 Financial stability and health are step one; neither are a destination one can reach but if one never starts the journey, they’ll never even get close. Step two is now to maximize the potential of every day by utilizing my time as efficiently as possible. I’m not yet comfortable immortalizing my life goals on the internet because they are so lofty and I’m not yet working hard enough to make them happen. As many have shown us in the past, the quick route to success is usually unstable, short-lived, immoral, and undesirable. The most admirable and inspiring individuals have put in some serious time to master their crafts and are in a position to say no to money coming from unsavory people/organizations. This is why I couldn’t be happier to have put myself in the position to succeed the right way. The road to success and personal fulfillment is a long game but it’s the only game worth playing.


SONG OF THE DAY

Rapsody “Cleo” (Produced by 9th Wonder) The way these two remade a classic is inspiring to say the least. Eve is already one of my favorite albums of the year and I know Rapsody is just getting going. When an artist finds a way to give art that has already made it’s mark on the world a new life, the results can be truly magical. I know I’m not the only one that felt this song pierced their soul in the best way the first time they heard it. As I’ve mentioned before, the connection between Hip Hop and collage is alive and well. Both mediums of expression provide an alternate contemporary reality for the art it is based on and helps us to see the world in a new way. I’ve only just begun cutting up Salvador Dalí’s art and I’m already stockpiling images from other legendary artists to cut up next.

DISCLAIMER: Many of my favorite people also use the phrase “The Long Game” but since I’ve been using it for decades myself, I decided to run with it.

Day 70 of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

A couple days ago, I started drafting what was to be my next blog post. I was in the middle of constructing a paragraph about how I was ashamed to admit that I was currently addicted to phone games when I realized that was not the paragraph I wanted to write. I visited an arcade with some coworkers a few weeks back and it unintentionally kicked off almost two weeks of complete and total time wasting via free game downloads on my phone. Seattle’s Snowpacalypse blessed me with almost a week of time in which my solo duties were to protect my building’s tenants from the snow with my trusty broom and to keep the place as clean as possible (the usual) so I had plenty of time to work on my empire… but instead I couldn’t stop matching virtual mahjong tiles.

TheRingOfDOOM with the Holy Grail and Holy Flatware

TheRingOfDOOM with the Holy Grail and Holy Flatware

 When I was living in my art studio, I managed to stay motivated because I had turned my creative endeavors into a game. That game ended back in September (with 421 work blocks in nine months) and I was in dire need of reshaping my goals and finding inspiration, so I finally created MY new game for life a couple nights ago. Armed with my list of 2019 goals and the knowledge that creating in 90 minute work blocks works very well for me, I crafted my motivation for the year ahead with scissors, paper, thumbtacks, a Sharpie, and a postcard of the Sistine Chapel ceiling. The postcard of Michelangelo’s masterpiece is to remind me what one person can accomplish if they just keep working toward their goals. I’ve already discovered that I’m more productive when I’m gainfully employed so I’ll be more than doubling my creative efforts this year.

 

The main goal of my game is to complete 1,111 ninety minute work blocks by the end of 2019. This works out in such a way that if I complete four work blocks (six hours) a day, I could still create nothing for almost two months and still reach my goal. I plan on accomplishing this feat while still delivering pizza and managing this micro studio apartment building. I’ve already completed the first ten work blocks since I started my game in the wee hours of the morning on 2/13 and made it to my first checkpoint! My next checkpoint is at 44 work blocks; future checkpoints are at 111, 222, 333, 444, 555, 666, 777, 888, 999, and the final 1111. It’s funny how creating a checkpoint system to reach a lofty goal in the game of life can inspire me to take action; Mary Poppins had it right. The grand prize for completing this game I created for myself will be to be able to look back on what I’ve accomplished in 2019 with amazement. Even if I lose, I still win.

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The 11 categories on my board are all activities that I truly enjoy that will enhance my own life and also help to build the empire of curated weirdness that I’m working toward. The categories are Collage, Website, TheRingOfDOOM, Instagram, Spotify, YouTube, Interviews, Photoshop, Resin, Jewelry, and Organizing (Digital or Analog). Throughout 2019, I’m hoping to finish (or build on) a bunch of projects that I’ve already started that fit into these categories. One of these projects is the music video encyclopedia that I started on my website back in 2009. Since I truly love sharing my favorite music with others but I prefer not to classify it by genre, I began curating posts of music videos that had something else in common… like whether or not the videos had desert scenes, special effects, cats, rappers behind fences, reptiles, blue lighting, turtlenecks, etc. This meant I could post old Tom Petty videos next to my new favorite underground rap videos and it would still make sense. It also means that I hold my acquaintance’s music to a higher standard as I’ll be placing it alongside music that has already been deemed classic.

On the new site, I’m sharing only three of my favorite examples from each category PLUS providing a link to a YouTube playlist that contains ALL the videos to be consumed on your SmartTV/laptop/phone/whatever you invent next. For example, the “A” page has lists of music videos featuring Abandoned Buildings, Adidas, Aircraft, All About The Dance Moves, Alter Egos, American Flags, Animals, Animated, and At The Water’s Edge. The B page has 20+ categories so far and I’m still just extracting the music I’ve left dormant on my old site. It often seems like a truly ridiculous endeavor that no one but myself will enjoy but the world stands to gain from this project way more than they would if I beat level 188 of Mahjong City Tours. The many hours I will spend creating this MusicVideoPedia will help shine light on thousands of musicians from all over the world if I promote it right or if it goes unnoticed it will merely add to the girth of my internet footprint. Stand by for more weirdness…


SONG OF THE DAY

James Blake - “I’ll Come To” 2019 My love for this new James Blake album is still blossoming…


Day 69 of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Now that I am emerging from deep struggle mode, life’s possibilities are looking much brighter again. On the darkest of days, I forget that this is almost exactly how I hoped my passion for the music industry would play out. Yesterday I finally remembered that I intentionally wanted to learn as much about the industry as I could from the inside so that I could take that knowledge, go independent, and dismantle the gates blocking my favorite artists from getting the shine they deserve. The self doubt that withers my infinite potential at times can be dismantled by simply moving forward. It’s truly amazing what a good Hip Hop show can do to your brain (Clear Soul Forces, Def Dee, Specs Wizard, & Wizdumb at Vermillion). I won’t yet disclose the steps I plan to take down this road until they have already been stepped because as one of my wise mentors once said, “Be about it, don’t just taco bout it.” I would be doing the entire universe a disservice by not using the knowledge I’ve worked my ass off to acquire. I’m the most qualified person on the planet to take on this role and on my best days I can clearly see the path I’m laying out with every post, email, and conversation.

Failed attempt at a desolate skyscrape made with only Dalí’s clouds.

Failed attempt at a desolate skyscrape made with only Dalí’s clouds.

Since I’m not content to work/volunteer for any of the established music entities in Seattle any longer, I’m still hoping to fund my music ventures via my art somehow but I’ll play the long game on that one. It will be worth it to take the long route to fulfill my vision. Until then I will deliver the fuck out of delicious pizza while singing in the car to pay the bills. I am slowly chipping away at my MF DALÍ project but I’m losing steam because I can’t figure out how to make a desolate background with the Dalí images I currently have in my possession. Even the collaged sky I made with Dalí’s clouds looks way too extra for what I have in mind but I haven’t even tackled the clocks yet so I have a ways to go. I’d love to be able to push a button in my brain to initiate creativity but so would everyone. That said, it is amazing what can be accomplished if you just sit down and make something anyway. I did get a couple more stickers made featuring MF DALÍ art (and Ghostface Killah) and it is extremely rewarding to see them out in the world. I’ll likely put some sticker packs for sale soon but I still want more variety. Always wanting more…

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My desire to travel has not been quenched and all of my plans to escape for day trips have been foiled by random apartment building shenanigans. I attempted to go to Portland to see the Sun Ra exhibit before it closed but a tenant lost their keys. I was bummed but instead I transferred the money I would have spent to my savings, car payments, and credit card. It has become apparent that I could likely satisfy my craving for adventure by interacting with other humans… truly the biggest adventure of them all. I could explore the entire planet and still be lonely at the rate I’m going but the wait will be worth it when I’ve surrounded myself with those who inspire me. @TheRingOfDOOM is cool and all but he’s a 3” alien fictional character and does not have the flexibility to hug.

Heading into a snowy evening of delivering pizza in Seattle. This should be a wacky adventure…

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Def Dee feat. Stas THEE Boss & OCnotes – “In The House” Currently overplaying this because this trio amazes me. They all crushed it but this is the best verse from Otis I’ve heard in a minute. The whole EP is fire.

Day 66 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 66

So thoroughly disgusted by the state of our government at this time and it is hard to think of anything else. I know taking breaks from social media is wise but men (and WOMEN!) in suits are about to give a rapist a seat on the Supreme Court and it is impossible to ignore. I desperately need to figure out how to earn more money so I can feed myself, get an actual place to live, and figure out how to not be depressed anymore but this is making me trust society even less. Disappointed that so many women bring each other down when men are terrorizing all of us. Worrying about my own shit seems selfish at this time but I still cannot take care of anyone or anything if I cannot take care of myself. As I’ve been writing this, I’ve been reloading news about Kavanaugh and it looks like he will get what he wants even though he is a rapist. I think it is safe to say that mind-altering drugs are real… and they might be made of money. So thoroughly disgusted.

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Permanent retreat into my own science fiction universe sounds like the best idea at this time but who knows how I’ll feel tomorrow. Even that option wouldn’t help me find a way to create sustainable income today or make any real connections with actual humans. If we all resort to escapism, we’ll crumble under this reign of terror… and that is exactly what they want.

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Post today’s @TheRingOfDOOM video

7.     Go to work and kick ass

SONG OF THE DAY

DJ Shadow “Dark Days” 2000

Day 65 of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 65

Still over here tryna learn how to be a healthy human. I’ve been coughing so much I feel like I’ve been OD’ing on ab workout videos. My creative ideas are flowing like crazy but I must prioritize hydration, nutrition, and overall health over everything. Still not sure how to put that into action when I’m trying to save every penny to move somewhere as soon as possible but I’ll figure this out. Taking a nap before I head into work in hopes I’ll feel more alive when I wake.

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TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Post today’s @TheRingOfDOOM video

7.     Go to work and kick ass

SONG OF THE DAY

FKA Twigs “Hide” 2014 This video is amazing when you’re able to ignore that one of the kids looks like he peed his pants.

Day 64 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 64

I finally let my Sister take my temperature and I realized that I’ve had a fever for four days. I do not remember the last time I checked in on my temperature. I’ve never owned a thermometer (that wasn’t for cooking) as an adult. When I checked this morning, the fever was gone but I am not yet functional. I was disappointed to call in sick to work but it would have been irresponsible to deliver food in this state even if it is technically possible. I tried to be good and not watch any screens last night so I’d have a better chance to fall asleep but that turned into anger/sadness/regret/anger/sadness/regret and so on for eight hours. I eventually fell asleep shortly after I heard my nephew waking up this morning. When I woke up a couple hours later my shirt was soaked through. The job is so easy that I still worked two full shifts while dizzy with a fever but that doesn’t make it right. I really don’t want to write too much today because my optimism is temporarily out of order and the things I’m inspired to write would only express my anger, sadness, and regret. At this time I am most grateful that I have two Sisters that I love more than anything else in this entire universe, that I don’t have to pay my student loans for a year because I’m officially too poor, and that I finally watched Coco this morning.

Stars don’t fit in.

Stars don’t fit in.

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Post today’s @TheRingOfDOOM video

SONG OF THE DAY

Charlotte Day Wilson “Nothing New” 2018

Day 63 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 63

Feeling way better than yesterday and also more ready to tackle my first three goals… for real this time. I have never actually measured how much water I drink but I know it hasn’t been enough. I’m finally hungry again so I’m looking forward to eating all the things, like Kalbi Beef Tacos from Marination. Watching part of Lord Of The Rings did help refill my metaphorical vessel a bit because it was time I did not spend on social media. I wholeheartedly admit that I scroll too much because I like to see what is going on in the world and with the people I’m too in my head to hang out with. The current events with Kavanaugh and Queen Dr. Christine Blasey Ford hit extremely close to home and it hurts too much to see often. Trump and his cronies want us to be divided and sad and it is working too well. Terrified to know what they are distracting us from this time. Anyway, I must take a mini break from Facebook and Twitter (duh Liz) and only use it to promote my own projects for a bit. #justsaynotoscrolling

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I’m currently researching how some of our favorite legends/stories began. Specifically, did Tolkien start with a map or a cast of characters or an outline, or did he just start writing? I wonder the same thing about J.K. Rowling, Alan Moore with Watchmen, and pretty much every comic book or series ever. Since Tolkein was an Oxford professor I’m pretty sure he must have already known a ton about the legends he placed in the series and would definitely not have just started writing. At first I wasn’t sure if I would find any useful use for my UW History Degree but some of my favorite authors were History Professors that weaved their historical knowledge in with Fantasy to create incredible results. At some point for school I read a Deborah Harkness (another History Professor) book about London’s Alchemy Community in the 16th Century called The Jewel House that was written so well that I could hardly tell it was a History book. After I graduated, I found the time to read her Fantasy book, A Discovery Of Witches, and I was hooked. I’ve always been curious about the origins of legends and was planning on further researching the topic more while in Europe. I studied King Arthur and I cannot wait to go to Tintagel Castle and Merlin’s Cave even though he is likely a purely fictional character like @TheRingOfDOOM. Fairies, elves, goblins, and other fantastical creatures are also rooted in Europe and I’d love to go take deep breaths in a place where they’re rumored to have existed. History is written by the survivors and sometimes even voted on by the elites of the time (Council Of Nicaea) and we may never know the stories of those who they squashed. The point of all this is I have already created so many elements of @TheRingOfDOOM’s story but haven’t put it all together yet. Over a year ago, I made a list of all the things I had already mentioned on his Instagram and it was six pages long. His story is very visual so it will definitely be a photo-graphic novel (I can’t draw and I want to keep working on my photography skills) and I truly can’t wait to see what I come up with next. Currently daydreaming about the layout of his home planet. It sure will be wicked awesome when I get my shit together enough to actually make this happen. Fortunately, we live in a time when I can publish it myself if I feel so inclined but I’d really love to work with Fantagraphics and/or another publisher with an excellent reputation. Anything is possible if I JUST DOOM IT.

Since I’m still recovering from the sickness and I’m hoping to be closer to full operating mode tomorrow for work, I’m not going to try to do too much today. I’ve never been good at being still and in general the more I do, the better I feel but sleep and relaxation is good, so I’ve heard. All I know for sure is that I drink enough water, eat three meals, and stretch for at least ten minutes, I will feel better tomorrow than I do today. I still have yet to finalize today’s @TheRingOfDOOM video but I have drafted so many over the last few years, these first ones will likely be me clearing out my iMovie to make room for the new stuff. Wonder how long it will take me to ask an actual person to be in one of his movies…

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 TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Post today’s @TheRingOfDOOM video

7.     Go for a walk

SONG OF THE DAY

DEPECHE MODE “The World In My Eyes”1990  Violator remains to be one of my favorite albums and this whole blog is pretty much about me wanting to show you the world in my eyes full time.


Day 62 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 62

Today I’m wondering how to refill the metaphorical vessel once it has run dry. Having fabulous adventures usually does it but I can no longer afford to go anywhere. On this day more than others, I’m counting the days until my health insurance kicks in. I’ve been trying to ignore that I’m sick at the moment and just keep on going but that does not work. Pretty sure I’m so dehydrated and malnutritioned that it warrants whatever tube doctors use to rehydrate you and give you the nutrients you need but I’m not rolling like that. No one at work could even tell I was sick because they don’t know me well enough to see the difference. I’m so used to operating in a deficit, I just keep on going even when my body starts shutting itself down. I know I’ve placed myself in a slingshot of my own creation and that I’m pulling myself back so I can spring forward but this cold has me feeling all the pain (physically and emotionally). Gotta keep this one short because my brain hurts today. If I wasn’t writing this daily blog and doing two 100 Day Projects, I may have been lost in Middle Earth all day… will try refilling my vessel with Lord Of The Rings.

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TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Post today’s @TheRingOfDOOM video

SONG OF THE DAY

Enigma “Sadeness” 1990

Day 61 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 61

I can’t be the only one that has looked up “how to be a healthy grownup.” The Google results do not give me the answers I am looking for. If they did teach us this in school, I buried it under a few decades of ignoring my needs to be a subservient employee/person. What I used to call strategic dehydration so I could work without having to take bathroom breaks and impress my bosses, I now see was prioritizing other’s needs before my own and was self-destructive. A vague memory of a meditation lesson in a junior high portable just emerged but we mostly giggled through it because someone farted or something. I could really use a definitive list of all the things I need to do/eat to be healthy but only I can make that list. I guess it is obvious when I really think about it but putting it into action daily is tricky.  I’ve accomplished the most when I’m on my Mary Poppins, meaning when I turn my to do list into a game. It would be wise if I made a gameboard of how to be a healthy adult sooner than later. I would put stuff on it like vitamins, drinking water, stretching, eating vegetables, brushing/flossing, learning how to relax, etc. My huge 90 minute work block bulletin board (with 421 completed work blocks and only eleven-ish completed 10 minute stretches) remains intact in my storage unit with the rest of my art/life/nostalgia supplies… maybe it’s time for a new travel-size bulletin board as I’m still living out of a suitcase and small backpack. I’m still amazed by the art I made during my blind pursuit of my own creativity but I need to reprioritize my whole shit. We can’t accomplish any of our dreams at all if we’re dehydrated, malnutritioned, and tied in knots (emotionally/physically). 

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Last night I dreamed that one of my favorite visual artists was my friend and when I woke up I was bummed that I haven’t even met him yet. He’s been brave enough to share his journey toward sobriety with the world and it made me love him even more. I know I’ll meet him eventually and I hope we get to have some real conversations. Even though I’ve literally given last minute advice to tons of superfans (and have gotten many jobs because I’m so good at being around/helping/driving famous people) about how to be cool when they meet their heroes, I’m still terrible at meeting my own unless we get to work together. The first great example of this is when I met Peanut Butter Wolf at a festival. A photo of him I made at the release of the Stones Throw documentary, Our Vinyl Weighs A Ton, was my phone wallpaper for years because I was working toward being the Peanut Butter Wolf of Seattle in my own weird way. I drove solo all the way to LA from Seattle to go the event and didn’t talk to him; even though he was less than three feet away from me. I still have the same goal to help artists be their best selves but fortunately I’ve gotten even weirder and have expanded my mission to include the entire universe. When I met him, all I could say was, “will you take a picture with my friend” and handed him @TheRingOfDOOM like a dumbass. The time I met Dan The Automator, one of my all-time favorite producers, I may have listed off too many of his projects that I loved and I’m pretty sure I weirded him out. At least he knows I guess? Here’s hoping when I eventually meet Prince Paul, Danger Mouse, Alchemist, and Evidence I’m able to play it a little bit cooler. Ideally, I’ll get a chance to work with these artists so that I can show them I’m not messin around and that I’d be the best possible addition to their team.

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I want to write about all the political bullshit but it is still too painful and hits too close to home. Most of the men I have been mistreated by likely do not even realize the damage they have done or that they were doing anything wrong. I have received zero ill treatment (of a sexual harassment nature) from men while on the job in the music industry but I am confident that I have not gotten jobs because I am a woman. I don’t want to go into detail on the specific jobs because my heart remains broken and they may come around eventually. The Underground Hip Hop world is a total sausage fest and while I do know some totally bad ass women in the community, most of the key players I once hoped to work with and learn from are men. To anyone out there who thinks I’m in this to date rappers… if that was my goal, I would not have been single for the last six years and go fuck yourself.

It’s time to put a bow on this so I can finish up Day 2 of #100DaysOfTheRingOfDOOMvideos and head to work. My first payday is tomorrow and it could not have come any sooner. Soon I’ll be able to breathe!

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Go to work and kick ass

7.     Work on next @TheRingOfDOOM video

8.     Start November playlist

SONG OF THE DAY

Massive Attack “Paradise Circus” 2010 If you like this song as much as I do, you’ll love the remix by Gui Borrato.

Day 60 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 60

I’m happy to say that I completed all of my goals yesterday aside from the water… the easiest one. The September playlist has already been released and I’ll be posting my latest @TheRingOfDOOM video shortly. I kicked off #100DaysOfStickersWith206LizPartDeux yesterday and today will be the first day of #100DaysOfTheRingOfDOOMvideos. These 100 Day projects help me to stay on track on the days when I wonder why I’m doing all this. I already have 100+ sticker photos so that will be easy but the video one will be my big challenge. Looking forward to seeing how my videos evolve over the next 100 days. I don’t think I’ll be uploading them to Facebook anymore cuz they are d-bags.

Today I’ll be working an extra long shift (Only 8 hours! Usually the shifts are 4 hours.) at the pizza spot so I’ll rake in even more dough. Looking forward to seeing the first direct deposits come through so I can pay my bills weeks before they are due like a boss. The gig economy is rough to say the least and causes all of us to say yes to jobs that aren’t paying us what we’re worth because every penny counts. In the past month, I’ve turned down three great gigs (two of them tours) in favor of health/dental and some form of stability. I’m prioritizing this creative work now so I will have something to come back to when I return from the many tours I plan to go on in the future. The post-tour depression is too real when you’ve worked yourself into solitary confinement and have been returning “home” to squat in your 10x10 art studio for the last 11 months. I’ll figure this shit out eventually as long as I keep on doing, working smarter, working harder, and hanging out with actual people who want to see me succeed.

Someone asked me on Reddit if they could use my flamingo sunset collage as their Soundcloud song image and I’m not sure what to say about it. I know I should get paid if someone wants to use my art but this is my first time in this situation so it’s tricky. At this point, I’m thinking about dropping my PayPal link in the reply and saying yes with the condition that I will use the image myself someday… fuck it, I’m going to say no. This artist only has three songs and no other social media presence so I don’t think I want to open the door to random Reddit messages from this person. If someone did want to use the image in the future (myself included), I’d rather it be someone I know… or would like to know. I’m not going to be that nice anymore. I still have 20 Organic cotton blank black tote bags that are in need of an image and maybe that is the one.

Today I did things in a different order so I’ve already completed a few of my goals. It helps to have some sort of structure to the day when you’re trying to get a lot of things done… duh Liz. I’ve abandoned the 90 minute work blocks for a bit and just keep on working when I feel so inclined. I may get back into it but first I want to see what I accomplish over the next week without the blocks.

The September Spotify Playlist has arrived!

The September Spotify Playlist has arrived!

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Go to work and kick ass

7.     Work on next @TheRingOfDOOM video

8.     Start November playlist

9.     Fold laundry

10.  Post September playlist and promote

11.  Post Day 1 of #100DaysOfTheRingOfDOOMvideos

SONG OF THE DAY

Jessie Reyez “Apple Juice” 2018  She’s so rad.

Day 59 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 59

Yesterday I worked and spent most of the rest of the day attempting to relax. I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to go back to Portland to make more photos. One of my would-be favorite shots from Burnside has my finger in it so my perfectionism won’t let me post it. I’ll be heading downtown to take some photos this afternoon before work because there are some spots I haven’t photographed in too long. I’ve been procrastinating the completion of my video from the beach like a dumbass. If I really want to do myself a service, I’ll start my next two 100 Day Projects today so I can feel like I’m making progress in life. Even though I’ve never made a penny off my websites, they have led to every opportunity in the music industry I’ve ever had so I know it is worth it to keep going.

Favorite photo from my field trip.

Favorite photo from my field trip.

Sometimes I think I don’t have the entrepreneur gene but then I remember that my cousin and I created our own newspaper when we were around 10 and had actual subscribers. We hand typed every issue ON TYPEWRITERS and charged 25 cents each; it was called the Market Street Reporter. I believe I have one or two in my storage unit somewhere (I’ve had most of my belongings in storage for almost two years now). The truth is that I haven’t pulled the trigger on most of my ideas because I doubt myself AND because I still feel weird about using DOOM’s likeness and making money from it. I have asked them in the past if they’d like me to stop but they asked if I would send them what I was working on. The zine I had just made was crude and unimpressive but I sent it to them anyway. No response from that but I totally get it. When you know you’re going to be sending whatever you make to your one of your favorite rapper’s teams, the stakes feel higher. I still want to make the photo-graphic novel and videos because it’ll help me to learn new skills and develop the story. At one point a French duo called NowFutur created a DOOM mix called Origins Of The Villain using samples from his songs and his original sources to create a video project that inspired DOOM to have them open for him at some of his European shows. Anything is possible if I make the thing and vice versa.

My trip to Europe feels so far off now because it is. Unless I can get some sponsors, I won’t be able to go until the spring. That would give me time to hopefully earn enough to pay for my dental work (even with my insurance) and raise the funds for the trip itself. Ideally, I’ll also be able to have enough to live somewhere when I get back. I’ve already got the Skyscanner alerts set so I can hopefully get the ticket for under $500 like last time. The trip won’t magically happen in the spring, I will have to make it happen with small steps every day. I’ll be seeking out a sublet situation once I earn the fundage… soon. So excited for the paychecks to start flowing. I don’t plan on living alone so it should be pretty affordable. Usually I just want to hide in my room and make stuff anyway so I’m a great roommate.

The sad photo with a finger in it.

The sad photo with a finger in it.

Sometimes writing this blog makes me feel like I’m just talking about the things I want to do instead of just doing them… because it is true. I enjoy the act of writing and would love to keep doing it, I just can’t let it take up so much time that it replaces creating the rest of the art I want to make. Even though I know where I want to go, the route is still blurry. All I know for sure is that I won’t get anywhere if I don’t keep finishing stuff. I didn’t complete any of the things I wanted to yesterday so my goals remain the same but I added a walk.

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Go to work and kick ass

7.     Make a video from the footage I got yesterday at the ocean.

8.     Finish September Spotify playlist

9.     Go for a walk and make some new photos.

SONG OF THE DAY

Gorillaz “Tomorrow Comes Today” 2001  If I keep on putting it off until tomorrow, I’ll be running in place forever.

Day 56 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 56

Due to a wait list win at my first craniosacral therapy appointment (gift from my sister and brother-in-law) later today, I’ll be heading to the ocean tomorrow instead. When this works as it is intended, my body should be able to relax for the first time in decades. Definitely nervous to see how this works but I’m curious to see if it will affect my posture because so much of the work is done around the spinal cord. I’ve been a sloucher as long as I can remember because I’ve been attempting to be invisible. FYI, almost everything I know about craniosacral therapy is due to Googling it a few minutes ago. I wasn’t going to write about it because it seems so personal but it is part of my story so it must be included. The goal of this blog was to share my journey and this is part of it. Fortunately, talking about therapy is more normalized than in previous years and not getting help at this time would keep my growth stunted permanently.

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I did get some new @TheRingOfDOOM photos yesterday but for the most part I’m having trouble figuring out what to do with the storyline. Most of the stories I’ve created with him in the past have been written after I got the photos but I believe some of my best work was made when I storyboarded the video first or had a plan for the photo shoot. I had the first page of his photo-graphic novel origin story taped to the wall in my studio for at least six months but never started it because it seems like such an advanced maneuver to actually do it. I love the idea of releasing a graphic novel a chapter at a time in comic book/zine form and then releasing all the chapters at once in book form once there is an audience for it. If I actually create the first few chapters, I’ll have something to send to publishers so I can start the process of getting rejected many times before someone finally decides to run with it. I’m not sure if anyone has made a graphic novel with photos yet but I think it is an amazing idea.

I’m looking forward to the clarity I’ll find by going to this appointment today and field tripping to the ocean tomorrow. The long drives almost always help me to focus on what I need to do the most. That said, I already know that all I need to do is to keep on making stuff every day. I need to get over the fact that I can’t make my storyboarded European miniseries and just keep doing. Still not sure if I want to finish my TheRingOfDOOM Vs. The Vulcan Of Amazonia video because making a video about how the world’s richest man is terrible could make me the enemy of all those who work for him. I’m not here on Earth to make enemies, I’m here to unite people and make them happier. Even with this as my mission, I have somehow created people who don’t like me. A local musician actually blocked me on Twitter because I dared to promote their amazing music and tag them (like I have for hundreds/thousands of others in the last nine years) so no matter what direction I go in, there will be haters… even spreading love and great music. The best thing I can do is to create the art I want to see in the world that only I can make and surround myself with awesome, driven, creative people who actually like me and want to see me succeed.

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Finish adding songs to September playlist

7.     Go to craniosacral therapy appointment

8.     Go to Stop Biting at LoFi

9.     Go for a walk in an interesting area and take photos

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Rhye “Hymn” 2018  New Rhye… love this band.

Day 54 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 54

My new job is pretty rad as far as jobs go. I’ll make good money in a short amount of time and get to drive around my really expensive jukebox listening to all my new favorite songs. One of the things I love about this company is that it is locally owned (not a corporation) and they treat their employees well enough for some of them to only have one job. Crazy right? What a concept. I also finally got my check from Bumbershoot so I can do crazy shit like pay my bills a couple weeks before they’re due like a boss. I might even do myself a solid and drive to the ocean on my next day off to take photos of my water art on the beach. I’d say the ocean has been calling me but it feels more like it has been yelling at me. I am not sure the exact location, nor do I really want to know, but my parents lived near the ocean before/when I was born so I was likely conceived there. Hmmmm.

I’m not sure if this sticker’s info is true but it sure seems right.

I’m not sure if this sticker’s info is true but it sure seems right.

I realized last night that Facebook edited scenes out of my latest @TheRingOfDOOM movie. They edited out the iPhone footage of the Lincoln Memorial and a few videos captured of the fountains near Washington Monument and replaced it with a still photo that says “end tyranny.”Hope that helps you get all the money you need for your collab empire with the government Zuckerberg! The top of my post (when I see it) says “your video is partially muted” but the sound remains the same; it is the visuals that have changed. I wonder if everyone else’s iPhone videos of the capitol are edited by Facebook/the man. The YouTube version that remains unedited by the man is much better. I knew Facebook was douchey but I didn’t realize it was at edit the content of your videos douchey.

Since Facebook won’t let me embed the video, here’s a link to the post.

Instagram has been tough lately because my camera roll is stale and I’m still in mourning about the photos that would have been. I do have a ton of great unposted photos but I can’t get better at my craft by posting old photos. I haven’t done much walking lately so it’s time to get back into it. I’m going to start #100DaysOfStickersWith206lizPartDeux because I still have tons of sticker photos. All the best people say that when it gets tough, that’s when you push yourself harder. The trick to refreshing my camera roll will be to try to experience my own city like I’m a tourist… tricky when there are memories at almost every corner but I got this.

I’m going to start popping up at local music events again this week because I miss everyone. My new work schedule has me off work at the perfect time to make it happen. Stoked to get so many shifts lined up already and also to know that I will now have a steady flow of money into my bank account; such a relief. I’ll be able to make my eventual Europe trip so much better by having actually money and not being in the middle of a lack-of-fundage panic attack when it is time to depart. Now I’m super excited at the thought of paying off all my debts and getting all that behind me. It seemed an impossible feat when I was hoping to make money selling $2.00 CDs on eBay and with my art but I’m all over this. It will take patience, working smarter, AND working harder.

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water (I’m crushing this goal already)

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Continued work on September playlist

7.     Take the art out of my trunk so there is room for pizza.

8.     Kick ass at work and make actual money.

9.     Go for a photo walk.

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Alt-J – “Last Year” feat. Goldlink (Terrace Martin Version) 2018  I’m pretty sure I’ll be overplaying this for days. It’ll be one of the many stars of my soon-to-be-released September playlist.

Day 53 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 53

Today is my orientation and first day of work at the pizza spot. Very excited to have a job with free food again and 59 days until I get to sign up for health and dental insurance. Yesterday I completed 11 of my 13 goals. I did not get all my Instagram photos in and I didn’t make any new @TheRingOfDOOM photos. So far his newest body has only been photographed in my old studio and I really want to make his first photo shoot next level amazing. Perfection is the killer of progress though. Gotta just DOOM it! I made five new photoshopped promo images for yet to be released playlists and travel posts last night and I can’t wait to share them. I realized that I can recycle the thousands of photos I’ve made so far on my previous adventures and still be a latergram travel blogger/photographer. Excited to continue to make photoshop collages, they’re rad because there is no mess to clean up when you’re finished and I can use images of anything for free.

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Super excited to start earning money again. I have always been a workaholic but when you know exactly what you’re working toward, it is easier to get through the difficult spots. I’ve really enjoyed writing every day because it helps me to work through my bullshit but also because I’ve always really loved the process. I really hope that others are inspired to speak up about their pain because I know that so many of us are feeling alone in our struggles. Being 100% honest about the epic journeys in our brains will draw all the best people to us and vice versa. Can’t wait to meet a bunch of new people today. It’s always interesting to me to see how long it takes for me to disclose that I almost always have a fictional character and a tiny skateboard with me. I may need to try to push these blogs out faster so I can get more done in a day but I’m grateful for the time I’ve been able to spend on them so far.

I already released @TheRingOfDOOM 00013: CONTEMPTIBLE CAPITOL OF CORRUPTION here on my website today via YouTube and I uploaded it to Facebook last night as well. If I disappear, it is because Cheeto and his cronies are mad at me for making the video… know this. The video was 100% made on my iPhone with footage I gathered in DC while on tour with Dessa and I also included anti-Trump photos from all over the US. I attempted to airdrop it to my laptop so I’d have more options for text but my almost at capacity 2013 Mac is still rejecting the arrival of large video files. I’m getting better with every video so I can’t wait to see what I’ll be making in a month or even a year from now. If we wait to have fancy equipment to make videos/photos, we may be waiting forever. Just DOOM it.

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Go to orientation/work

7.     Work on September playlist



SONG OF THE DAY

Gabriel Teodros feat. Otieno Terry – “Everything Comes To Light”2018 

Day 52 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 52

So much can change in a day if you make it so. In two months my HEALTH AND DENTAL INSURANCE will kick in at my new job delivering pizza at a locally owned spot that does business the right way. Jobs with free food are wicked awesome… especially when you just drop it off and don’t have to wipe up the spills at their feet. Of course it would have been cooler to write a story on dental tourism in Spain but this feels very Sofia Amoruso/Girlboss at this time and I’m more than ready to work my ass off. I already filled out the paperwork and get to start tomorrow; I love it when the hiring process goes so quickly. One of the best things about this job is that the harder I work, the more money I make. So many jobs do not reward efficiency so the slackers I was working alongside would make the same as my overachieving self. My new schedule leaves me with many hours in the day to find a midday job as well so I’m adding researching/applying for dog walking jobs to today’s to do list. This means I’ll be keeping my car until further notice and staying with generous family in the greater Seattle area until I have enough fundage to move into a sublet… which will be sooner than later. I realize this goes back on three of my declarations; wanted to leave Seattle, using my car to make money, working a job just for the $; but I need money like years ago so that’s just the way its gotta be. My support system is here. I used to deliver pizza in the late 90s at a spot in North Lake Tahoe before I had a cell phone and loved it; I’ll make the most of it and get to listen to tons of great music while I’m driving.

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I finally sold some boots on eBay that have been sitting in a box unworn for years so today I get to go on a treasure hunt in my storage unit which is currently a hot mess like the rest of me. I’ll still be living out of my suitcase and small backpack for awhile but I will have access to all the rest of my random stuff if I need it. As much as I love making my collages, I’m going to backburner it for a while because I need to take the time to get good at the thing I want to do the most; video. The gig economy makes it tricky to get good at one thing because I’ve had to wear so many hats over the years but I want to be good at creating videos so I’ll put in the work. I’m hesitant to make it a #100DayProject (it would be my fourth) because I know how much work it will be and I’m already hoping to work at least two jobs for a bit. It would be wise to just start that project right now because it really only takes a few minutes to make a video these days… I’ve just talked myself into it. YouTube presence is clutch and exactly where I want to go. The path of happy people I’ve been following AND my long-term obsession with music videos/film have led me right here. I want to set myself up for a balanced life where I have ample time to work my job(s), make art, get enough sleep, eat healthy, and actually have a social life but Seattle doesn’t really work that way if you’re on a delivering pizza level. This job will allow me to make the money I need every month to pay my bills/debts and all the rest can go to setting myself up for the future I most want.

Last night I started working on my shelved Washington DC video again. I had to put it down for a while because DC’s vibe left a horrible taste in my mouth and it hurt my soul to spend too much time thinking about our evil government. One of my career heroes has said that it is bad for business to talk about politics because you can alienate your potential customers but I’ve decided to completely reject that idea to be a good person. This same man also preaches kindness and finding your niche so it seems backwards for him not to openly denounce our sexual predator president and our country’s racist terrorism, especially because he and his family are immigrants and he has women he loves in his life. I won’t name him here because I’d rather have this conversation with him in real life someday and otherwise he seems a great person to have on your team who truly means well. I understand that he is trying to maximize his profits like a good businessman should but if he’s afraid to pick a side in the battle of good vs. evil, then he probably isn’t as good of a person as I hoped he was. If he truly wants to build his business the right way, he would take a stand even if it took him longer to reach his goal. Not speaking up about the wrongs in our society makes him an enabler of the established racist/sexist system and it’s sad that he’s encouraging others to keep their political beliefs to themselves to make money.

@acodd art as seen the night of his show with @leo.shallat & @claude206

@acodd art as seen the night of his show with @leo.shallat & @claude206

I’d much rather work to educate those who are on the wrong team so they can understand that having a president who has openly admitted to grabbing women by the pussy and is a NAZI (among many other evil traits) is the worst possible thing for our country. In no way do I plan on being a political activist but I do have a couple videos on deck that Cheeto-fans will hate me for… including this DC video. I’ve vowed that the next time I see a MAGA hat, I’ll start a conversation with the person about what that means to them and try to remain calm while we talk through how they ended up wearing the symbol of a terrorist on their head and why it hurts my soul and many others to see it...  instead of just scowl at them. I want my life to be about seeking out positivity but so do all the black people that are being terrorized and murdered by police, the children and their parents being detained separately by our government, all the homeless people everywhere that fell victim to capitalism, and all the women who have been mistreated by men (including myself). I still plan to focus on making people smile and shining light on artists making the world a better place but it ALWAYS makes me smile to see people standing up to the evil in our society and we need heroes more than ever. Facing our demons head on is important for survival.

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Go to storage unit to get sold eBay boots, work pants, etc.

7.     Finish my hire packet for tomorrow’s orientation

8.     Get Direct Deposit form ready from BECU to bring to tomorrow’s orientation

9.     Reprove I’m broke w/ tax return info I find in storage unit so I can pay low payments on my student loans for another year.

10.  Post 1 video on YouTube & promote

11.  Mail boots I sold on eBay

12.  Apply for dog walker jobs

13.  Take at least one new @TheRingOfDOOM photo, his new body has yet to be photographed outside.

SONG OF THE DAY

Florence + The Machine “Dog Days Are Over” 2009   I have tons of respect for Florence, her Machine, and her art but I hated seeing corporate advertisements for her latest album wheatpasted all over New York. This song remains beautiful no matter how I feel about corporate Street Art.