The Long Game Vol. 11

As usual, so much has happened since I blogged last. These days I’m focusing on figuring out how I want to offer myself to the world for employment when I’m not on tour. The wear and tear plus gas prices make Doordash an unreliable source of income and I’ve been attempting to network myself into a music video career. It seems a great fit for my current interests and skills and I’m in the middle of making a quintet of music videos for a friend’s EP that’ll look good in my internet portfolio. I’ve got some other options for dinero on deck but I’d hate to announce something that is still up in the air.

My spiritual and mental health journey has been eventful as usual and I’ve had to ask for more help lately than I’m used to. A wise billboard once quoted that “even the greatest soloist can’t do it alone.” The patience required to Doordash all day is off the charts and fortunately it is one of my strengths. I’ve got a couple tours on deck a few months out and it’s giving me a bright spot to look forward to as it is my favorite way to earn a living.

I’ve made two new TheRingOfDOOM videos lately. The first is mostly an MF DALÍ adventure and utilizes a bunch of stop motion animations I’ve made already.

The second and most recent TheRingOfDOOM video was made with handcut images from two identical Jacques Cousteau books.

Sending love to you all and hoping you all reach for help and guidance when you need it… or maybe even before you really really need it for better chance of success.

Day 10 Of The Long Game… SpIritUal Awakening

So much has happened since I wrote last as usual. My spiritual awakening has been all consuming to say the least. I no longer feel the need to hide my awakening symptoms so I no longer will. I told the TikTok world what was happening a few months back and its time for a serious update.

These days most of the time when my pen hits my journal, its a message from someone else. I’ve not received any 3D confirmations of my telepathy aside from my automatic writing. I quit Netflix close to a year ago so I could learn all about my spiritual journey on YouTube. One can find all kinds of guidance on what I like to call YouTube University. ALL of my symptoms coincide exactly with the info I’ve found on YouTube about spiritual awakenings which makes me feel normal. My therapist is 100% on board with this journey also. She even guides me further down the rabbithole by recommending other books about the awakening process. 

For the most part, I’ve been medicated with olanzapine (anti-psychotic) since my first spiritual emergency back in May 2020. I was hospitalized for mental health three times in 2020 and again most recently at the end of June 2022. Aside from the first time which I found myself living on only coffee with honey in it, for the most part what guided me astray (or exactly in the right direction), was listening to the voices guiding me to make extremely bold moves that I would never make had I been on the meds. I keep thinking that I’m in the clear and going off my meds because I feel so normal. 

I now believe in many things I’d never even contemplated… like reincarnation and other dimensions here on Earth. I hear voices all day long but they’re quieter when on meds and they’re ALWAYS with me via automatic writing. I’ve had many long conversations with beings at the soul level and it can be hard to tell the dimension the voices are coming from. These symptoms are exactly what is to be expected from a spiritual awakening and the videos that helped me to believe are made by scientists and spiritual leaders. I even dove into “Seth Speaks” at the recommendation of my therapist which is a book channeled to a woman in the 70s by a being in another dimension who was taking a break from a human body for awhile. 

On my hospital stays before headed to mental health facilities, I try to telepathically wake people up and everyone replies back and is grateful for the awakening. They say stuff like, “they told me it was shocking but I had no idea it would be like this.” Then I tell them that they have at least twelve guides that will help answer any questions they have. I talked to a psychiatrist in my last hospital stay and told her it’s not her fault that modern medicine led her down the wrong direction if she truly wanted to help people. I also told her she’d been a sacred medicine shaman in her past life. All of the info keeps pouring out from me as if I can access the Akashic Records at any time. I can even close it by visualizing a spiral staircase winding back down into my brain when its feeling overloaded. 

With all of this going on in my mind, I’m still able for the most part to live a normal life. That said, I’ve gotten way behind on bills because there’s so much learning to do in the spiritual realm. I tend to stay inside and journal as often as possible because I love digging into my brain so much. There’s a lot of music and other media out there that further proves that I’m not alone on this journey. There are 100% things I wish I did not do and/or mail but the recipients were begging me to send them gifts from the 3rd dimension. That said, I’m easily able to say no way when the voices try to guide me to do something truly dangerous. 

One of my main theories is that there is a DNA code for everything and that we’re not that different than the lamp that sits behind me. Just as we humans have generational trauma so do the ingredients of the lamp themself. A better example is the cotton that most of our clothes are made out of. The DNA of cotton is terrible because of its role in slavery. This realization has led me to walk outside naked twice now. I was even sober when it happened. I still cave to caffeine and sugar but I’m working on it. My last naked expedition happened on June 23rd I believe. I’d been off the meds for about 6 weeks when it happened. I had to shed all my clothing because I didn’t want any generational trauma on my back or feet as I headed out to the Teotihuacan pyramid. I made it 4 miles south from my apartment before the cops drove by and had me stop to get admitted to a hospital and mental facility after. 

I definitely plan on going to the Teotihuacan pyramids eventually but it’s time for me to focus my efforts on finishing the 155 short stories that pair with my MF DALÍ collages. It would feel so good to actually finish a big project like this. I MUST KEEP GOING!

Day 9 of the long gaMe… Storytime

Writing this on a Bluetooth keyboard because my computer finally decided to die… best $20 investment ever! I can still type my MF DALI stories so it hasn’t slowed me down much. I quit smoking weed 19 days ago so the only vices I have left are coffee and sugar but weaning myself off caffeine now so it’ll just be sugar. Crazy as it sounds, it was the voices in my head that asked me to quit. My life now fully revolves around the guidance I receive from my in head life coaches. How I feel about the voices changes depending on what media I consume. Since I’ve been watching only videos about spiritual awakenings, I feel more like it’s a superpower and due to the decalcification of my pineal gland. It’s easy for me to share thoughts about my awakening in this blog because I know how few people read it. I have tentative plans to start a podcast about it and/or speaking about it in TikTok videos but the interest is forever (barring some event that takes it all away). I’m confident that it would reach others in the same boat and maybe even help them on their own spiritual journeys. I created a post on Reddit about psychosis vs. spiritual awakenings and how they have the exact same symptoms and virtually met a few people going through similar things… very 2022.

I haven’t made a single collage or written my MF DALÍ stories since February so the sobriety hasn’t yet motivated me creatively. Writing this book is my main goal now because the 152 MF DALÍ collages seem to have concluded the story on their own. That said, I’ve been much more responsible with working and usually drive 6 days a week delivering Doordash. I got an offer to be a Runner again but want to keep my schedule open for music tours and am no longer interested in the venue side of the industry. I finally realized how much trauma multiple decades of customer service can cause. Spending your work days pleasing others and ignoring my own needs isn’t healthy and there are few jobs that sound appealing these days. This is likely how my empathic skills developed. I love the flexibility of Doordash and I average $18-$25 an hour which isn’t bad for having no boss. I was blessed to go on some tours already this year and am looking forward to seeing what opportunities pop up next.

Day 8 Of The Long Game - The MF DALÍ Grind

So much has happened since I wrote last is quite the understatement as usual. My laptop has turned into a constant spinning wheel of patience and I’ve been unable to use it as intended for about a year now. I remain convinced that I can manifest my millions just by creative use of my cell phone and focused hard work on the right projects. I was previously prioritizing getting my MF DALÍ book and a Street Art Photography book done but it was installing Adobe InDesign for the project that served to fill my computer to capacity. Now I’m focused on creating new MF DALÍ collages, making new videos for TheRingOfDOOM series, and documenting my art process so I can share it with others. I’ve been delivering Doordash for the bulk of the madness so I can keep my availability flexible for music tours when they pop up. My aversion to working for the evil empire has guided me toward working for the musicians directly and it’s the most fun thing possible even though it can be a lot of hard work on little sleep. I’ve got a tour coming up in December 2021 with Dessa and Thievery Corporation and I couldn’t be more excited for the adventure. 

I recently purchased 11 used Dalí art books from eBay and I’ve set myself up to have four copies of the same book so I can quadruple the images and give Dalí’s art an even weirder alternate universe. This isn’t a new development as I’ve been doing it from the start but my collages are bigger now (usually 11”x17” and 11”x11”) so it’s cool to have more colors in my palette that match exactly. I also like having more limbs for my collage characters. I’ve been creating the backgrounds for my art to serve as mini movie sets for my stop motion animation videos starring the Dalínian characters I’ve been cutting into existence. This means I have tons of collages with characters taped onto them until I figure out what story to tell. Recently, I came up with the Dalínian Time Spinners and gave TheRingOfDOOM his own time machine in the form of one of the soft clocks from the classic painting “The Persistence Of Memory.” TheRingOfDOOM is currently hesitant to use his time machine because he’s worried about getting trapped in a system of multiverses but only we know that so far. I left TheRingOfDOOM 00051 on a cliffhanger as he’d just picked up his time machine. I know I’ll gather all I’ve created for him into some sort of book or zine eventually but at this time I’m prioritizing other things I can do on my cell phone. It would be such a shame to not connect the dots and turn it into a project that can be held in my hands and shelved at the library. I’ve been procrastinating because there are no deadlines when you’re building your long term dream from scratch. 

My daily routine has been wake up, coffee, journal, get some of my 10,000 steps in and leave for Doordash. I don’t typically get much done after work besides eating but I’m working on that. On non-Doordash days, (I have too many if you ask my bank account) I rise, make coffee, journal, get some of my steps in, and start the day’s collage. I’m currently cutting up The Persistence Of Memory and making nine copies of it into an 11”x11” square because I don’t think I can fill an 11”x17” without changing the color scheme. I prefer to collage in natural light so the timelapse art videos look better and have been better about creating videos of my process. I’m going to start doing voiceovers on all the videos instead of stealing music so if my YouTube channel gets monetized, I’m good to go. I’m still far off from successful monetization as most of my videos have under 10 views but I’m grateful for the platform and the endless hours of entertainment it provides. Today is a Doordash day in which I woke up earlier than I would have set an alarm so I had time to spare before heading out for the day’s pursuit of cash… hence the blog post.

Day 5 Of The Long Game... Moving Through The Darkness Into Light

After five months of drafts, I've finally decided not to attempt to summarize the extreme ups and downs of my life these last 5-6 months and tell you what I’m doing now. Thanks to Mr. Kenny Beats for reminding me not to overthink shit… anymore. I will say that two months of solitary confinement in my 164 square foot micro studio full of art supplies after six weeks of one of the most magical rap tours of my life led to me finally asking for help getting the much needed mental health care I deserve. I’d surely be dead if I was a dabbler in vices that could kill me. I’m grateful for my family and friends that have helped bring me into My Own Light and keep my un-caffeinated head somewhere in the orbit of the rest of my body. 2020 went nothing like I had planned but the first two and a half months were pure magic. Thanks to Dessa, Sa-Roc, Sol Messiah, Rapsody, Monakr, Khrysis, Face, Heather Victoria, Becky, and the Rhymesayers family for sharing their light with me! I even had my first solo art show in January in a coffee shop in Redmond, Washington.

I remain in love with me and all of my creative pursuits and recognize that if I don’t move forward full heart ahead, I’ll never reach even the lowest peaks of my infinite potential. So today… I blog.

Made with two images of Salvador Dalí’s “The Pearl”

Made with two images of Salvador Dalí’s “The Pearl”

Over the last week, I’ve completed four collages for the MF DALÍ collection and cooked/chopped some delicious food for myself… a remarkable feat for someone without a real kitchen. I remain so grateful for all that I have that I sometimes wonder how I could possibly need anything else… then I remember the joy of a rap tour, the satisfaction of sharing my creative pursuits with others, and that dating someone awesome could be lovely. It is the art of black people that has kept me afloat these 41 years and I know that my role will continue to be shining light on the creative humans that have provided me with so much joy. We all have roles to play in the new era of Earth and mine requires me to share the art of myself and others every single day. We’re not all built for the front lines of this battle but every role is important. I remain grateful for the humans that have been the physical tide of change this planet needed. It’s not over yet but the world is waking up which is the first step in healing. The revolution will be beautiful. 

Made with five images of Salvador Dalí’s portrait of Luis Buñuel.

Made with five images of Salvador Dalí’s portrait of Luis Buñuel.

TheRingOfDOOM did not physically survive the rap tour but he has many former (and future) bodies with which he can continue his Earth mission. The designated TROD pocket of my cargo pants isn’t the safest mode of travel and I ended up losing one of his feet when he broke last. It is possible that I may still find it but I have no shortage of photos of his adventures to tie us all over until he is whole again… likely later today.

Made with two images of Salvador Dalí’s “Unsatisfied Desires”

Made with two images of Salvador Dalí’s “Unsatisfied Desires”

I’d love to detail my many plans for the close and distant future but we already know that a goal is just a wish if we do not take action. It’s infinitely more powerful to show what we have done already. I am actively working on creating paid opportunities in LA and NY… tell your friends. It’s time to level up.

Made with two images of Dalí’s painting of Cadaques, Spain and bonus Liz water

Made with two images of Dalí’s painting of Cadaques, Spain and bonus Liz water

SONG OF THE DAY

Joey Bada$$ x Capital STEEZ - “Survival Tactics” 2012 Shoutout to Mr. Joey Bada$$ for showing us that asking for help is a good thing. We love you Joey!

Day 4 of The Long Game... Moving Out

Even though I’ve officially retitled my blog as The Long Game, I remain as delusionally optimistic as ever. The Long Game of working soul-less hourly jobs to pay for a tiny box to live in and keep unnecessary objects feels like poison these days now that I’ve had a taste of a more fulfilling life. I’ve already rented a storage unit and started moving my belongings to their new padlocked home. I am leaving for my next adventure with my travel buddy on New Year’s Eve. Before I lock all my art away for the winter, I’ll be having an end of the year sale for a couple days in case anyone failed to get rad local art gifted to them this holiday season. I plan on making a video commercial for this sale as one of the many ways I’ll get over my phobia of appearing on video.

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A few days ago, I was able to do my first TheRingOfDOOM wheatpaste at the Pike Place Market Art Wall with the assistance of a new friend… after finding out that this was 100% legal, I just HAD to do it. There’s so much potential with pasteup art, I seriously can’t wait to see what I do next. It was rad to learn how to create the art that has inspired me so much and to see it photographed by others. At some point I WILL get to create a collage that will be scanned, turned into giant sticker form, and permanently attached to the side of a huge building… tell your friends.

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Another one of my favorite things that happened recently is that I left TheRingOfDOOM collage art at Pike Place Market and posted a short video about it on my Instagram story and TikTok. The Instagram story went mostly under the radar as usual but as I write this, the TikTok video of leaving my TheRingOfDOOM collage with him on garlic toast surfing through asparagus has already reached 28,300 pairs of eyes, has 4,775 likes, and has earned me 300+ followers. I realize that this is a very BS 2019 statement but it is another piece of proof that GaryVee knows exactly what he’s talking about. TikTok is NOT just for the children.

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I’ve completed a couple MFDALI pieces in the last few weeks but I’ve been more focused on creating art that is fully mine. The first of which was a pink/purple 11”x17” analog collage made with my extensive collection of magazine cutouts. I even completed a time lapse video of the creation process and shared it on my IGTV and YouTube channel. I really love being able to look back on how I made something because it comes together in my mind like a predestined puzzle I’m assembling one piece at a time. The response for this collage was so great that I’ve already granted permission for a Seattle-based musician to use the image as album art and completed five more color based 11”x17” collages to make a set of six (pink/purple, green, orange, blue, red, and black/white). 

The inspiration for the color pool project came shortly after I completed an analog collage using multiple images of Raphael’s School Of Athens painting. After staring at the mild colors of classic art for so long, I wanted to drown in hot pink paper for a few hours. The School Of Athens collage time lapse video was the first time I used iPhone’s iMovie app’s voiceover feature and it was way easier than I thought it would be. The completed video can be found on my IGTV, YouTube, and below. 

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Looking forward to sharing more details about my upcoming adventure when the time is right… stay tuned.

Day 3 of The Long Game... Progress

I’ve been focusing all my intentions over the last few years on discovering exactly what my thing was so that I could build the tools I’d need to run right towards it. Once I fully committed to my long-deliberated goals and started actually setting up my life for a lengthy adventure, I met one of the people that inspired me to be the light in my own life... and now we get to go on this adventure together. There are so many more synchronicities in play with our upcoming collaboration... I won’t go into them here but 2020 is looking to be the most excellent year of my life so far because I’ve exited my cocoon and have started to meet people that believe in me and my creations. Two art nights in and I’ve already set this epic journey into motion… I’m a little intimidated to go back tonight because life happens so fast when it’s not happening solely contained inside one’s own brain. 

Currently selling my latest creation on eBay at a very low price as an experiment… guessing I won’t get to look at it for much longer.

Currently selling my latest creation on eBay at a very low price as an experiment… guessing I won’t get to look at it for much longer.

One of the best things about attending the art night (and recently on my #MFDALI trip) is that I discovered I’m able to make my collage art in the presence of others. It has always been a solo journey but now that I’m seeing the reactions of people when I start with 2-3 images and turn them into one right in front of them… I’m realizing more people would enjoy seeing my art in action. Tons of places have live painting or drawing events but live collaging could work too! There’s so many things to cut up and/or create with in this life, it feels irresponsible to do anything else with my days. My vision for TheRingOfDOOM and my own creativity is huge and will create opportunities for millions of people when I get it all together. 

I hope to inspire everyone I meet (or sees my content) to seek out what their own Plan A is. Most of us stop daydreaming when we reach some form of stability because we’re afraid to not have what everyone around us has but once you start releasing the bullshit, the rest starts falling into place. In order to gift myself the opportunity to create while traveling, I’m leaping into leaseless freedom again. I’ve been extremely grateful to have the time to get back to me (and conquer my debt) while in this 164 square foot apartment but I’ve allowed being rent poor to feel like a cage long enough. Even though this micro studio has felt huge at times (knee injury optimism), when my lease renewal arrived… I just couldn’t sign up for more time in this place. Since I moved in, I’ve had a list of cities I will be visiting soon on my wall as a reminder of why I’m alienating myself in this tiny apartment… I’m so close to the end of my debt relief program, I can already feel my foot on the gas pedal of my life and honestly, I’ve already left the metaphoric garage. 

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I’ve decided to grant myself the opportunity to move forward with my big ideas and have already made great progress over the last week with my endeavors as a full time artist. I stopped timing my daily endeavors once I realized that the things in this life that will fulfill me the most (human interaction) may not be officially classified as art “work” and I’m grateful to have arrived at this realization yet again. Thanks to my experimentation with many productivity techniques, I’ve been finishing more things than usual on a daily basis and it feels awesome. This past Saturday, I even completed the #GaryVeeChallenge by creating well over 64 pieces of unique social media content in one day. I actually doubled it and completed closer to 128 because once you get going, it’s hard to stop (I lost official count at 100 but kept going for 3 more hours).

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I’m currently making daily Wunderlists to track my water and food intake, art promo posts, and all the tiny things that must be done in a day if one is adulting their way to a career as a healthy full time artist. When this blog is posted, it will be my 19th completed task of the day. Most of the items on my list are easy like finishing a glass of water but I also already did laundry today and now that it’s over, it’s a win. In the past couple days, I’ve completed the first seven parts of my art timelapse video for my School Of Athens (Raphael painting) remix. I’ll likely be finishing the collage in part 8 and then I’ll be turning it into a longer form YouTube video and sharing the f*** out of it. I’ve posted the first 7 parts on TikTok already to my tiny audience of bots and have gotten a small but encouraging reaction.

Looking forward to sharing with you what I do next…


SONG OF THE DAY

Snoh Aalegra - “Peace” 2019 So much of this life is a mind game. Our perspective and gratitude has the power to transform every single day into beauty if we’ve found peace in our minds. I’m grateful to have found my own peace so I can save my own life from stagnancy and move forward.

Day 2 of The Long Game

Since I wrote last, many things in my life have changed… as they should when one is actively working toward creating their best life. The first big change is that I quit my pizza delivery job because the overwhelming negativity of some of my coworkers had made the job unbearable. Once I found the clarity that I have a choice of how to spend my days and that I was not trapped in the job, I made the easy decision to walk away. While there were definitely a few people there who encouraged me at every step in the building, the infinite potential of being surrounded by people who challenge me to think even bigger is truly mind-blowing and it’s worth it to me to take the time to seek out these people on a global scale. I’m still physically and mentally able and willing to work hourly jobs but since the goal is to work smarter, not harder… getting a new job that would serve only to keep me treading water in Seattle seems like a foolish move. Now that I know what I want to do, it physically and mentally hurts to do anything else. 

Mural by D*Face in London

Mural by D*Face in London

The second big change is that instead of finding another job that will distract me from my art journey, I’m taking another shot at being a full time artist. So here we are at yet another deadline I’ve created for myself with the help of the universe. My current lease in Capitol Hill, Seattle is up at the end of the year and it feels like the perfect time to make a big change. The only thing I want to do for the next few years is to travel the globe making art and photographing the art of others and I know it is possible. Now that I’ve experienced the joy of taking one’s art on tour (music and otherwise) and sharing your art and light with the world, I’m completely addicted and I believe that it is the way I can best be of service to this planet. As I write this, I still have yet to earn any art money but I’m actively taking steps toward changing that every day.... My webstore is linked here if you’d like to see how that’s going.

A recently made #MFDALÍ diorama.

A recently made #MFDALÍ diorama.

While I’m definitely aware that the opportunities I create and manifest for myself may end up looking very different than what I’ve imagined, I envision my 2020 living out of a suitcase making art every day in a beautiful place, following the trail of opportunities I’ve manifested. I realize this is only possible if I continue to work toward my goals daily and to press the eject button from my comfort zone. People have already been paid to do most of the things I hope to do (artist residencies, full time working artist, published Street Art Photographer, creator of graphic novel series +, creating and marketing a character, get paid to travel with my art, more stuff I haven’t thought of yet and/or are so big I won’t mention them yet) so I know everything is possible if I work hard every day, try new things, and continue to think bigger.

TheRingOfDOOM and an #MFDALÍ collage on Dalí’s grave in Museu Dalí in Figueres, Spain.

TheRingOfDOOM and an #MFDALÍ collage on Dalí’s grave in Museu Dalí in Figueres, Spain.

The third big change is that about a week after I quit this job, I assessed my finances and discovered that I could make the Europe trip happen that I’d attempted a little over a year before. Of course I should have stayed home and worked at creating reliable streams of income but I must follow my internal compass and reach for true happiness at every opportunity. A last minute ticket was purchased and I went to Figueres and Cadaques in Spain to photograph my #MFDALÍ art in the Dali museums. MF mission accomplished… working on developing this whirlwind experience into more digestable social media content as I write this. I also was able to take TheRingOfDOOM to Bristol for his long-awaited transformation. Instead of merely drinking the water of Bristol, both my fictional character and I were soaked through with Bristol rain multiple times during our stay. Neither of us will ever be the same and the trip was truly the transformation I was seeking. I spent the last chunk of my trip in the Shoreditch area of London which is most definitely one of my favorite places on the planet… so far.

Stik mural as seen in Shoreditch, London

Stik mural as seen in Shoreditch, London

My current system for maximizing the potential of every day is to have a stopwatch running every time I’m doing something that would be considered work if I was doing it for another. It makes a ton of sense to me to spend at least one month working 8 hours a day/40 hours a week (plus way more) at creating a sustainable art career for myself before giving up and getting another job (I do realize there are more options here). I’m on my third day of tracking my art hours and it’s going great so far. I’m wholeheartedly convinced that the ROI of investing this time in myself is infinite and that every minute I spend working on my art is worth it… even if it has yet to pay off financially, I know it will. If I work half as hard for myself as I do for others, my endeavors will have no choice but to succeed. I’m grateful that I’ve gifted myself the opportunity to reach for this goal.

My latest MFDALÍ collage.

My latest MFDALÍ collage.

As usual, I have A LOT more to say about all these things but it’s time to take action instead of overthinking and continuing to strategize. I’m currently actively working on creating a collaged set for a stop motion music video, a new sellable 12”x12” space collage, making timelapse videos of my art process, adding old art to my webstore to open doors to art money, creating new daily habits to maximize health, productivity, and happiness, plus creating a whole buffet of new content highlighting me and my art journey. Looking forward to seeing what I make happen next…


SONG OF THE DAY

Heart “Straight On” 1978 (the year I was born) Never underestimate the infinite power of a 41 year old woman who is actively wrangling her personal demons and turning them into art.

Day 1 of The Long Game... Still Optimistic, Much Less Delusional

Last year when I began my blog, The Delusional Optimist’s Guide To Achieving The I’mPossible, I felt the only quick way out of my five figure pit of debt was to make something truly epic happen. That remains true which is why I am still in debt a year later. Had I been at the top of my game, it may have been possible to simply swing from one adventure to the next and find money on the way but I was operating in survival mode and was unable to make the trip (or life) happen. Instead, when it came time to leave for my three month trip to Europe, I had only $50 and was a few weeks from developing pneumonia due to substituting coffee for food to save money (anxiety sandwich). Today I am still in five figure debt but since I started The Long Game of repayment last year, I’ve paid off almost $10K in combined credit card and car debt, happily live alone in a 164 square foot apartment, and recently purchased another ticket to London for May 2020.

Took this MF DALÍ collage for a walk.

Took this MF DALÍ collage for a walk.

It is true that squatting in my $300/month art studio for nine months had allowed me the perceived financial freedom to go on tours with rappers and follow my internal compass to NY and LA but ultimately, the extreme highs and lows of coming home from a rap tour to a place I wasn’t supposed to sleep was rough on my soul (that said, I would do it all again in an instant). On the plus side, my damaged soul helped me to step my art up immensely during the time I lived in the 100 square foot art studio. I will forever be grateful for the art journey but am well aware that I was unable to make the most of the opportunities I encountered while living there and I’m still in the process of letting that go.

Finally cut up this checkered floor I found in an 80’s photography magazine.

Finally cut up this checkered floor I found in an 80’s photography magazine.

For the nine months I lived there, I didn’t really reach out to anyone to network new music opportunities and was making most of my money working a super part-time catering job because I wanted to be able to go on last minute tours when asked. ALL of my attempts to make money flipping stuff on eBay at this time were a fail because my tastes are so obscure that no one wanted the weird stuff I had acquired… example, the eight headed mink stole I recently threw away because I was afraid to open the bag and look at it after it had been in storage for a year. On the plus side, I did make some truly weird TheRingOfDOOM videos with Eddie The Eight Headed Mink Snake before I threw him out and even made $35 profit off of a box of human teeth I found at a Goodwill Outlet. Even though I was in dire straits financially, I still paid all my bills on time until the debt relief program advised me to do otherwise. My credit remains intact even though I was not.

Tried to make this MF DALÍ collage move with stop motion but technical difficulties halted me in my tracks.

Tried to make this MF DALÍ collage move with stop motion but technical difficulties halted me in my tracks.

 I had initially thought that the roots of my financial despair were my ridiculously expensive car, capitalism, and overextending myself so that I could live alone. In hindsight, I now know that the real roots of ALL my despair are that I had yet to tackle my own traumas. It is true that the initial cause of my childhood trauma is not my fault but neglecting to investigate how the shame affected my life for so long is on me. After only a year of extracting lessons and examining my own behavior under my overthinking microscope, I’m already infinitely better at standing up for myself, recognizing when I’m being disrespected, and walking away.

Having once miserably settled for a life that other people thought I should live, I’m unwilling to settle ever again. One of the most surprising things about working toward one’s goals is realizing how many people are threatened by the thought of you succeeding. When you aspire to go beyond what they’ve settled for, it makes them uncomfortable and it comes out in weird ways. I once had a guy tell me that my ambition is off-putting to men and that it was likely why I was single. This is laughable for so many reasons but mostly because it is true. I’ve yet to have a relationship in which my partner does not try to discourage me from my living my best life. Being single for the bulk of seven years has helped me to shed most of the layers of bullshit the weak men of my past have burdened me with and to actually have the clarity to discover what my best life is. Now that I know what I want to do with my life, I’m avoiding real human connection so I can focus on me for the first time… I will find a balance eventually.

 

My latest non MF DALÍ collage.

My latest non MF DALÍ collage.

Now that I’ve found financial stability (still in debt but the end is in sight) and am emerging from survival mode, I believe that a delusional optimist makes a better story than it does a life and I’ve activated the patience required to accomplish something huge. I’m still happy that I documented my journey because I hope it can help others to tackle what is holding them back and move forward. Working in the music industry was one of the most rewarding experiences of my entire life and I do hope to work with musicians ‘til the end of my days but stepping away from the gig economy into the glamorous world of pizza delivery saved my life. Now instead of working 5-7 different part time gigs and coming up short every month, I’m able to make a living (and a savings account) at one job working less than 40 hours a week at a locally owned company that respects their employees. My work day consists of consuming art podcasts, audiobooks, and music in my own little mobile universe while driving around Seattle looking for more places to photograph. Working with younger people who do not yet feel trapped by the lives they’ve created for themselves is magical; they are not uncomfortable by the thought of me succeeding and encourage me every step of the way. I truly love seeing my stickers on their skateboards, water bottles, guitars, printers etc. It’s an ideal scenario in which I’d still be able to go on tour and have a job to come back to when the right offer presents itself. I could not be more grateful for this job and the opportunity to focus on my creative projects.

 Financial stability and health are step one; neither are a destination one can reach but if one never starts the journey, they’ll never even get close. Step two is now to maximize the potential of every day by utilizing my time as efficiently as possible. I’m not yet comfortable immortalizing my life goals on the internet because they are so lofty and I’m not yet working hard enough to make them happen. As many have shown us in the past, the quick route to success is usually unstable, short-lived, immoral, and undesirable. The most admirable and inspiring individuals have put in some serious time to master their crafts and are in a position to say no to money coming from unsavory people/organizations. This is why I couldn’t be happier to have put myself in the position to succeed the right way. The road to success and personal fulfillment is a long game but it’s the only game worth playing.


SONG OF THE DAY

Rapsody “Cleo” (Produced by 9th Wonder) The way these two remade a classic is inspiring to say the least. Eve is already one of my favorite albums of the year and I know Rapsody is just getting going. When an artist finds a way to give art that has already made it’s mark on the world a new life, the results can be truly magical. I know I’m not the only one that felt this song pierced their soul in the best way the first time they heard it. As I’ve mentioned before, the connection between Hip Hop and collage is alive and well. Both mediums of expression provide an alternate contemporary reality for the art it is based on and helps us to see the world in a new way. I’ve only just begun cutting up Salvador Dalí’s art and I’m already stockpiling images from other legendary artists to cut up next.

DISCLAIMER: Many of my favorite people also use the phrase “The Long Game” but since I’ve been using it for decades myself, I decided to run with it.

Day 72 of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

As happens with life when one neglects to document events on a regular basis, so much has happened since I wrote last. Yesterday was my first physical therapy appointment after a meniscus injury that left me unable to walk for two and a half weeks. I’m happy to report that I’m almost walking normally again and that I’ll be returning back to my glamorous pizza delivery job tomorrow. This knee injury blessed me with the opportunity to clock out from my apartment manager job for the first time since October and help me to realize that even though it puts me in a good place financially, remaining on call 24/7 for part time wages is a total racket. There are infinite other ways to make money and I will seek them out while delivering the fuck out of delicious locally sourced pizza. As someone who has already declared that they’ll never again be a cog in another corporate machine again, working for the real estate industry was never going to last long.

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This is the paragraph where I reveal my excuses for slacking the last few months…  I recently spent six weeks in the first relationship I’ve had since I got divorced seven years ago, procrastinated too much, lacked focus, and temporarily lost total hope of my creative endeavors (multiple times) so I have not completed as many of ninety minute work blocks as I hoped I would by July 10, 2019. I’m currently working through my 170th ninety minute work block of the year and have unearthed renewed motivation to barrel forth with this now likely impossible mission to complete 1111 ninety minute work blocks by the end of December 31. The plus side of falling behind is that every single work block gets me closer to the financial and creative freedom I’m working toward even if I don’t make it to my lofty goal.

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Last night during a 90 minute block of internal/external organization, I came up with a plan to help me take action when I’m unsure of which creative endeavor to pursue at that moment. I wholeheartedly believe that all of my artistic pursuits are worthy (on most days anyway) and that if I move forward on them, I will feel like I’m making dramatic progress toward my goals and be even more inspired. I’ve split my work blocks into four different groups that I will (try) to take action on every day for the rest of the year. The categories are Analog Collage, Loud Daytime Art/Organization Projects, Photoshop/Computer Projects, and Writing Projects. If I wake up and already know which of my endeavors I want to work on, then I’ll jump into action but if I’m unsure of which project to move forward with, I can pull one of my ideas randomly out of its envelope and start on it immediately. If I feel like I don’t want to work on that project, it may be time to abandon it completely. Getting my Mary Poppins on and turning my daily routine into a game has already proven its efficiency at inspiring me to stay on task. Almost ALL of my big art ideas are in these envelopes so I’m looking forward to seeing which of my procrastinated projects I unearth next. I started this updated version of my life game just last night and already completed two collages and put in some work on a picture frame I’m collaging to look like it is made of wood.

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Since the writing work blocks have been neglected the longest and have the potential take me directly where I want to go, I’ll be doing that block first thing after I chug a bunch of water, eat breakfast, do my physical therapy, get dressed, and take my vitamins. If I feel so inspired, I’m allowing myself the opportunity to do an analog collage block first thing instead because the goal is to start flexing my creative muscles first thing on a daily basis (writing or visual art). A few of the writing projects I’ll be drawing for are completing a blog post, updating my MusicVideoPedia bio, finalizing a music post, rewriting the About page on my website, rewriting another Aesop Fable so it is wholesome and inspiring, writing about one of my Alaska or Tahoeadventures, writing the story of a dream from an MF DALÍ project, artist interview research or action, work on TheRingOfDOOM series plan, complete a travel blog post, storyboard a TheRingOfDOOM episode featuring mini Galaxian game, and updating the home page on my website (and many more… hopefully soon on channel 444). I see no reason that my Netflix account should continue to be getting more action than my website; I’m not getting any younger.

 

The Loud Daytime Art/Organization projects include stuff like completing a resin pour, recycling/donating something from my storage unit, a ninety minute apartment organization/cleaning block, making a new clay character, new TheRingOfDOOM diorama, prepping more stickers to be mailed to magazines, fellow weirdos, and galleries, decorating my bathroom, painting something, going to put WD4D on my squeaky trunk, and repairing old art so it is show ready. It’s been a few months since I completed a resin pour so I’m looking forward to making more 3D collage weirdness; I’ll never get where Dustin Yellin is if I don’t glue! These louder projects prove most fruitful when attempted during daytime hours so I’ll be tackling these two before I go to my night job on a daily basis. The Analog Collage and Photoshop/Computer work blocks are much quieter so they’re more ideal for post-pizza shift endeavors.

Of the Photoshop/Computer blocks, I’m most excited to create more Spotify playlist images, update my website’s art gallery, complete a new MusicVideoPedia promo image, make new TheRingOfDOOM logo, continue to add videos to MusicVideoPedia, complete more Spotify work blocks, create an image for NON MusicVideoPedia, update my web shop, and to re-edit my Sun Ra video. When building an empire of weirdness, there is no finale to the computer work To Do list… every minute is worth it!

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Of the four envelopes, the one most padded with ideas is the Analog Collage collection. The amount of unfinished but worthy collage projects I’ve left unfinished or are resolved to begin is uncomfortable and moving forward with them just may end up being what life is all about. A few of the collages I’m looking forward to completing are 30 minute landscapes, MF DALÍ images, bejeweled animal characters, aquarium collage, rap collage, random image file pull (examples… pink skies, outer space, blue, lips, water, mascara wands, chairs +++), creating a collage from one of many shelves of magazines/books, complete a tiny framed art piece, work on tiny 4 squared TheRingOfDOOM collage for Pike Place mini art show, more work on giant TheRingOfDOOM photocollage, covering round table top with green pieces to be resin sealed, collage made with one whole comic book, collage with Space Needle, and to start gluing images to my thrifted breadbox. Until I take action on my ideas, they’ll just be another item on an unfinished list… now is the time to just DOOM it dammit!

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I’m looking forward to seeing how long this recent birthday will drive and focus my effort; it often has a similar inspiration push to that of New Years. As Douglas Adams (A Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy) revealed to us, the answer to the big life question is 42. Since I’ve just turned 41, this means I’m currently in my 42nd year on the planet which I’ve convinced myself must be the year in which I double down on my efforts to spend every single day working toward creating the life I want for myself. My 41 years on this planet so far have shown me that I will not be content to live a life laid out for me by tradition and that I must curate exactly the life I want to live or settle for a lifetime of suffering in the lower middle class.

SONG OF THE DAY

Loyle Carner feat. Kiko Bun + Rebel Kleff - “You Don’t Know” 2019… rappers with accents for the win; always.

Day 70 of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

A couple days ago, I started drafting what was to be my next blog post. I was in the middle of constructing a paragraph about how I was ashamed to admit that I was currently addicted to phone games when I realized that was not the paragraph I wanted to write. I visited an arcade with some coworkers a few weeks back and it unintentionally kicked off almost two weeks of complete and total time wasting via free game downloads on my phone. Seattle’s Snowpacalypse blessed me with almost a week of time in which my solo duties were to protect my building’s tenants from the snow with my trusty broom and to keep the place as clean as possible (the usual) so I had plenty of time to work on my empire… but instead I couldn’t stop matching virtual mahjong tiles.

TheRingOfDOOM with the Holy Grail and Holy Flatware

TheRingOfDOOM with the Holy Grail and Holy Flatware

 When I was living in my art studio, I managed to stay motivated because I had turned my creative endeavors into a game. That game ended back in September (with 421 work blocks in nine months) and I was in dire need of reshaping my goals and finding inspiration, so I finally created MY new game for life a couple nights ago. Armed with my list of 2019 goals and the knowledge that creating in 90 minute work blocks works very well for me, I crafted my motivation for the year ahead with scissors, paper, thumbtacks, a Sharpie, and a postcard of the Sistine Chapel ceiling. The postcard of Michelangelo’s masterpiece is to remind me what one person can accomplish if they just keep working toward their goals. I’ve already discovered that I’m more productive when I’m gainfully employed so I’ll be more than doubling my creative efforts this year.

 

The main goal of my game is to complete 1,111 ninety minute work blocks by the end of 2019. This works out in such a way that if I complete four work blocks (six hours) a day, I could still create nothing for almost two months and still reach my goal. I plan on accomplishing this feat while still delivering pizza and managing this micro studio apartment building. I’ve already completed the first ten work blocks since I started my game in the wee hours of the morning on 2/13 and made it to my first checkpoint! My next checkpoint is at 44 work blocks; future checkpoints are at 111, 222, 333, 444, 555, 666, 777, 888, 999, and the final 1111. It’s funny how creating a checkpoint system to reach a lofty goal in the game of life can inspire me to take action; Mary Poppins had it right. The grand prize for completing this game I created for myself will be to be able to look back on what I’ve accomplished in 2019 with amazement. Even if I lose, I still win.

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The 11 categories on my board are all activities that I truly enjoy that will enhance my own life and also help to build the empire of curated weirdness that I’m working toward. The categories are Collage, Website, TheRingOfDOOM, Instagram, Spotify, YouTube, Interviews, Photoshop, Resin, Jewelry, and Organizing (Digital or Analog). Throughout 2019, I’m hoping to finish (or build on) a bunch of projects that I’ve already started that fit into these categories. One of these projects is the music video encyclopedia that I started on my website back in 2009. Since I truly love sharing my favorite music with others but I prefer not to classify it by genre, I began curating posts of music videos that had something else in common… like whether or not the videos had desert scenes, special effects, cats, rappers behind fences, reptiles, blue lighting, turtlenecks, etc. This meant I could post old Tom Petty videos next to my new favorite underground rap videos and it would still make sense. It also means that I hold my acquaintance’s music to a higher standard as I’ll be placing it alongside music that has already been deemed classic.

On the new site, I’m sharing only three of my favorite examples from each category PLUS providing a link to a YouTube playlist that contains ALL the videos to be consumed on your SmartTV/laptop/phone/whatever you invent next. For example, the “A” page has lists of music videos featuring Abandoned Buildings, Adidas, Aircraft, All About The Dance Moves, Alter Egos, American Flags, Animals, Animated, and At The Water’s Edge. The B page has 20+ categories so far and I’m still just extracting the music I’ve left dormant on my old site. It often seems like a truly ridiculous endeavor that no one but myself will enjoy but the world stands to gain from this project way more than they would if I beat level 188 of Mahjong City Tours. The many hours I will spend creating this MusicVideoPedia will help shine light on thousands of musicians from all over the world if I promote it right or if it goes unnoticed it will merely add to the girth of my internet footprint. Stand by for more weirdness…


SONG OF THE DAY

James Blake - “I’ll Come To” 2019 My love for this new James Blake album is still blossoming…


Day 69 of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Now that I am emerging from deep struggle mode, life’s possibilities are looking much brighter again. On the darkest of days, I forget that this is almost exactly how I hoped my passion for the music industry would play out. Yesterday I finally remembered that I intentionally wanted to learn as much about the industry as I could from the inside so that I could take that knowledge, go independent, and dismantle the gates blocking my favorite artists from getting the shine they deserve. The self doubt that withers my infinite potential at times can be dismantled by simply moving forward. It’s truly amazing what a good Hip Hop show can do to your brain (Clear Soul Forces, Def Dee, Specs Wizard, & Wizdumb at Vermillion). I won’t yet disclose the steps I plan to take down this road until they have already been stepped because as one of my wise mentors once said, “Be about it, don’t just taco bout it.” I would be doing the entire universe a disservice by not using the knowledge I’ve worked my ass off to acquire. I’m the most qualified person on the planet to take on this role and on my best days I can clearly see the path I’m laying out with every post, email, and conversation.

Failed attempt at a desolate skyscrape made with only Dalí’s clouds.

Failed attempt at a desolate skyscrape made with only Dalí’s clouds.

Since I’m not content to work/volunteer for any of the established music entities in Seattle any longer, I’m still hoping to fund my music ventures via my art somehow but I’ll play the long game on that one. It will be worth it to take the long route to fulfill my vision. Until then I will deliver the fuck out of delicious pizza while singing in the car to pay the bills. I am slowly chipping away at my MF DALÍ project but I’m losing steam because I can’t figure out how to make a desolate background with the Dalí images I currently have in my possession. Even the collaged sky I made with Dalí’s clouds looks way too extra for what I have in mind but I haven’t even tackled the clocks yet so I have a ways to go. I’d love to be able to push a button in my brain to initiate creativity but so would everyone. That said, it is amazing what can be accomplished if you just sit down and make something anyway. I did get a couple more stickers made featuring MF DALÍ art (and Ghostface Killah) and it is extremely rewarding to see them out in the world. I’ll likely put some sticker packs for sale soon but I still want more variety. Always wanting more…

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My desire to travel has not been quenched and all of my plans to escape for day trips have been foiled by random apartment building shenanigans. I attempted to go to Portland to see the Sun Ra exhibit before it closed but a tenant lost their keys. I was bummed but instead I transferred the money I would have spent to my savings, car payments, and credit card. It has become apparent that I could likely satisfy my craving for adventure by interacting with other humans… truly the biggest adventure of them all. I could explore the entire planet and still be lonely at the rate I’m going but the wait will be worth it when I’ve surrounded myself with those who inspire me. @TheRingOfDOOM is cool and all but he’s a 3” alien fictional character and does not have the flexibility to hug.

Heading into a snowy evening of delivering pizza in Seattle. This should be a wacky adventure…

 

SONG OF THE DAY

Def Dee feat. Stas THEE Boss & OCnotes – “In The House” Currently overplaying this because this trio amazes me. They all crushed it but this is the best verse from Otis I’ve heard in a minute. The whole EP is fire.

Day 68 of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

If you’ve been paying attention, you may have noticed that I haven’t written a blog post in a couple months. Shortly after I wrote my last entry, I found out I had pneumonia which was not that tight to say the least. I had just started a new job that required me to go back on my resolution to never work jobs just for the money again (plus living with family in a temporary situation) and my soul was in pain. I do not recall being that sick… ever. I was so out of commission that I didn’t even go to the Evidence show; if you know me well, you know how I feel about Evidence. I’m in a better place than I was a few months ago mentally and physically but I still have a long way to go to Achieve the I’mPossible. Still firmly stuck in my own way but I’m holding my metaphorical shovel as I write this and I’ve made great progress over the last few months.

Intergalactic AirBNB - 12”x12” Paper Collage and 3”x3” sticker

Intergalactic AirBNB - 12”x12” Paper Collage and 3”x3” sticker

A few weeks after I was diagnosed with pneumonia, I got a job managing a micro studio apartment building that offered “free” rent as part of the compensation. The job and place to live could not have appeared at a better time. I won’t go into detail about what it is like to manage this building because I’ve had tenants tell me they’ve looked at my website. I will say that on a daily basis, I feel even more inspired to get my shit together art-wise so I can start my next chapter ASAP. This is the first employment I’ve had in which people hate me just for doing my job. I’ve never demanded much from my building managers so the requests I’m getting from people and the messes I’m cleaning up are truly shocking to me. I prefer jobs in which I am able to clock out so I can allow my brain time to embrace creation mode. That said, this job has allowed me to work on my own personal boundaries and to get better at saying no and for that I frickin’ love it.

Paper Collage On Wood (pre-resin)

Paper Collage On Wood (pre-resin)

Jumping back into the two job lifestyle has been a rough transition but for the first time in my adult life, I know that my bills will be paid if I just keep on going to work. Managing this apartment building and delivering pizza throughout 2019 will ensure that I will be out of debt and actually have money in my savings account in just over a year. A year seems like forever at this point but it will give me time to make art and further fine-tune my car singing. Hanging out with someone other than @TheRingOfDOOM might also be a good idea. I’m making myself go out into the world at least once a week this year because it is it’s own reward. Photo walks don’t count because for the most part I remain in my own little universe and have little human interaction. There’s no need to spend so much time alone on this planet with billions of people on it.

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I do enjoy writing every day but at this time I’m still learning how to manage my apartment building management duties and have yet to reprioritize daily blogging into my routine. At this point, I prefer to just do the stuff I want to write about because I’ve already been procrastinating too long. For the most part, I’m finally able to work on my own art after I get home from my second job every night. Inspired by not wanting to put holes in the walls of my tiny 164 square foot micro studio, I started a collage project to decorate my place with art that can be taped to the wall. I have a bunch of 12”x12” square pieces of paper that I’m turning into spacescapes for @TheRingOfDOOM so he can tour the neighboring galaxies while I’m at work. I even made one of my favorite landscape squares into a sticker and magically found some of the stickers on the streets of Seattle already. The stickers are for sale on consignment at Statix and in my webstore. I’d really love to create album art so I’m gonna run with the squares idea for a bit.

@TheRingOfDOOM and Ten Hundred At Statix

@TheRingOfDOOM and Ten Hundred At Statix

 These days, I’m all about using what I’ve got instead of getting new stuff. Every time I move, I become hyperaware of how many boxes of art supplies I have and it inspires me to start creating. Since one of my goals is to spend some quality time in Europe, I’m hoping to pare down my stuff drastically over the next year so I don’t have to store too much. Before I go, I hope to pay off ALL my debts less my student loans… including the almost $10K I still owe on my car… so that all I have to pay for while I’m out of the country is my phone bill, car insurance, and storage unit. The crazy part about it is that it is totally possible if I have the inner strength it will take to continue this daily grind. Hoping the photo walks, new favorite songs, collage making, amazing Seattle people, and never-ending supply of art books from the library will distract me from my wanderlust. This year, I’ll do everything in my power to make my 2020 vision come true in the best way possible.

SONG OF THE DAY

Lorine Chia - “I Just Want To Live” 2016 One of the gems on my latest Spotify playlist, Noctember.

Day 67 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

I only saw this movie once many years ago but for some reason, this is all I got today…

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Post today’s @TheRingOfDOOM video

7.     Go to work and kick ass

SONG OF THE DAY

Erykah Badu “On & On” 1997

Day 66 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 66

So thoroughly disgusted by the state of our government at this time and it is hard to think of anything else. I know taking breaks from social media is wise but men (and WOMEN!) in suits are about to give a rapist a seat on the Supreme Court and it is impossible to ignore. I desperately need to figure out how to earn more money so I can feed myself, get an actual place to live, and figure out how to not be depressed anymore but this is making me trust society even less. Disappointed that so many women bring each other down when men are terrorizing all of us. Worrying about my own shit seems selfish at this time but I still cannot take care of anyone or anything if I cannot take care of myself. As I’ve been writing this, I’ve been reloading news about Kavanaugh and it looks like he will get what he wants even though he is a rapist. I think it is safe to say that mind-altering drugs are real… and they might be made of money. So thoroughly disgusted.

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Permanent retreat into my own science fiction universe sounds like the best idea at this time but who knows how I’ll feel tomorrow. Even that option wouldn’t help me find a way to create sustainable income today or make any real connections with actual humans. If we all resort to escapism, we’ll crumble under this reign of terror… and that is exactly what they want.

 

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Post today’s @TheRingOfDOOM video

7.     Go to work and kick ass

SONG OF THE DAY

DJ Shadow “Dark Days” 2000

Day 65 of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 65

Still over here tryna learn how to be a healthy human. I’ve been coughing so much I feel like I’ve been OD’ing on ab workout videos. My creative ideas are flowing like crazy but I must prioritize hydration, nutrition, and overall health over everything. Still not sure how to put that into action when I’m trying to save every penny to move somewhere as soon as possible but I’ll figure this out. Taking a nap before I head into work in hopes I’ll feel more alive when I wake.

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TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Post today’s @TheRingOfDOOM video

7.     Go to work and kick ass

SONG OF THE DAY

FKA Twigs “Hide” 2014 This video is amazing when you’re able to ignore that one of the kids looks like he peed his pants.

Day 64 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 64

I finally let my Sister take my temperature and I realized that I’ve had a fever for four days. I do not remember the last time I checked in on my temperature. I’ve never owned a thermometer (that wasn’t for cooking) as an adult. When I checked this morning, the fever was gone but I am not yet functional. I was disappointed to call in sick to work but it would have been irresponsible to deliver food in this state even if it is technically possible. I tried to be good and not watch any screens last night so I’d have a better chance to fall asleep but that turned into anger/sadness/regret/anger/sadness/regret and so on for eight hours. I eventually fell asleep shortly after I heard my nephew waking up this morning. When I woke up a couple hours later my shirt was soaked through. The job is so easy that I still worked two full shifts while dizzy with a fever but that doesn’t make it right. I really don’t want to write too much today because my optimism is temporarily out of order and the things I’m inspired to write would only express my anger, sadness, and regret. At this time I am most grateful that I have two Sisters that I love more than anything else in this entire universe, that I don’t have to pay my student loans for a year because I’m officially too poor, and that I finally watched Coco this morning.

Stars don’t fit in.

Stars don’t fit in.

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Eat three meals

3.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

4.     Finish this blog

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Post today’s @TheRingOfDOOM video

SONG OF THE DAY

Charlotte Day Wilson “Nothing New” 2018