Day 40
Here we are eight days away from my departure and I’m still reeling in my thoughts about how I actually plan to make this happen. I greatly aspire to earn some sort of grant or large chunk of money (in addition to my Bumbershoot check & deposit return on my studio) but for the most part I MUST learn how to make money remotely very soon. There are infinite ways to do this in 2018 but the key to all of them is either reaching out to those creating these opportunities or kicking so much ass that they come to me. Both of these require immediate action that I am ready to take.
Last November while en route back to Seattle from Minneapolis after the second leg of Brother Ali’s The #OwnLightTour I felt the call to find a place to make art. I found that place, made the art, and learned infinite things about myself in the process. I had spent six weeks before the tour exploring the US in my Subaru (sleeping in my car 90% of the time) and found the hardest part was finding a place to just be and create. My world changed drastically with the first leg of the tour and I now find myself unable to settle for anything remotely normal again because I have experienced the pure joy of a rap tour. I love the art I made over the last nine months more than I thought I would but I discovered that if I chose to go all in on this particular talent, I’d be spending most of my time alone sorting, cutting, and gluing tiny pieces of paper. I will make art until my last day on this planet but that is not the path that will make me the happiest.
The happiest moments of my life have all been related to my love of music and art. Every opportunity I’ve created for myself was rooted in me showing the world the things I love the most. My interest in the Seattle Hip Hop scene inspired me to start my own music blog back in 2009 that would later serve to be my resume and continue to show the world what I’m all about. By showing the website I had curated to the right person, I was able to immerse myself in the music world and work my way through the ranks at a shocking speed. My (not) secret goal was always to learn exactly how the music industry is working and who the key players are so I could create a path around the mainstream. Seattle is too small for me to tell the story of my music career fully at this time, but, I will say that the white men in power in the music industry are worse than I originally thought and that jumping off the corporate music ladder headfirst into poverty was one of the best decisions I ever made. It is 1000% times better to get hired by the artist’s team directly even if the job offers only show up sporadically. The best thing I can do for both myself and the artists I hope to help reach their maximum potential is to create opportunities for all of us to shine on a global level. One more show at a small bar that is solely attended by other musicians will not help them to get out of struggle mode. I’m sure we can all agree that music is art; so why is it that visual artists can make millions off one piece of art when musicians can inspire millions with one song art and receive very little or no compensation? The answer to that question if fairly obvious to those who are paying attention, but, what is important is what I hope to do about it.
THE TIMELAPSE VIDEO I POSTED ON YOUTUBE YESTERDAY
Seattle is a wonderful city but all the signs are telling me that it is time to move on. Every step I take above my own bullshit shows me that the only thing holding me back is me; this is obvious to everyone to knows me. I believe so strongly that I MUST go to Europe right now that I’m abandoning all stability and ridding myself of most of my material possessions to make it happen. Yes it is kind of crazy but this is the perfect time to quote Seal, “we’re never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy.”
After an epic hour and a half conversation with my youngest sister (who just got an MPC!!!) just now, I’ve resolved to make it a priority to try to sell my car before I go and to ask for help doing so. Releasing this vehicle will free me from more than just financial burden, it will close the door on the residual effects of my marriage. I could not be happier to have learned the lessons I did being married to the wrong person but the lessons I learned by being brave enough to get divorced are much more valuable. Letting someone else choose what I prioritized was stupid and six years after my happy divorce, it’s time to slam the door on all that bullshit and take my life in the direction I want to go. Before I met my ex my goal was to figure out how to move to London and it has taken me sixteen years to get back on track. It’s time to go.
I’ll be figuring out how to formally get rid of my car in the coming days but the pricetag is $10,741 to break even on my beautiful 2012 Subaru Outback. Still trying to figure out how to monetize the fact that Ariana Grande (and too many rappers to name) has been in my car but not really. (Side note: sending all my love her way, anyone who blames her for the death of Mac Miller is an asshole.) I cannot wait to see how I take action towards my best life in the next week. I plan on ripping my shell off and showing myself and the rest of the world what I can do when I’m no longer afraid and it’s going to be fucking awesome.
TODAY’S GOALS
1. Drink 64 oz. water
2. 10 Minute Stretch
3. Go For A Walk
4. Blog Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also) - LISBON
5. 2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool
6. Tidy up my sister and brother-in-law’s place and pick them up from the airport
7. Start packing up my studio so I can move most of it to my storage unit tomorrow.
8. Listen to my own brain and take notes
SONG OF THE DAY
Nas – “I Can” 2002 This is a perfect example of how a song can be a banger while also having an excellent message.