Day 43
Today was the last day I wake up in this 10x10 box; I’ll be housesitting until I leave next Monday. I am so lucky to have found a place to create and gather my thoughts for $295/month but this is a terrible way to live life and I couldn’t be happier to be moving on to my next adventure. When you wake up in a place you’re not supposed to be, you start off the day trying to be invisible. I’ve been trying to go unnoticed for as long as I can recall so even though this living situation seems (sort of) ideal for someone who is hoping to spend all their money on travel; the cheap rent and isolation ultimately served to steer me further from those I admire the most. As the late, great Mac Miller said in this Fader Documentary, spending too much time alone can be toxic and I feel like walking proof of this statement most of the time. Because I am the Delusional Optimist that I am, I can easily perceive this era as me taking the time to figure out exactly what I wanted to do without letting others influence me and staying away from a vice that could easily overtake me if I allowed it to. It is okay that I am terrible at drinking; I do not want to get better at it even if it means I get to hang out with the cool kids. I’m too old for that shit and my stomach has already told me that whiskey is the devil. I have not quit drinking forever because I plan on drinking wine in Italy, delicious beer in Belgium, and Guinness in Ireland (etc.) but spending money I didn’t have on a beverage that hurts my stomach and risking DUIs is dumb.
Yesterday, I filmed more than sixty minutes of footage of myself addressing the camera. I learned a ton about myself in this hour and also in the multiple hours I’ve spent since editing the video (like sixty minutes of footage for a three minute car commercial might be too much). The most valuable thing I’ve learned so far is that when I’m holding back or thinking about how I look, it shows. Reading the script for the video I had written looked and sounded like it was scripted but I will still use some of it. I MUST FINISH EDITING THIS VIDEO TODAY! Time is running out fast but I believe so strongly that selling this car and going to Europe is what I am supposed to do at this time that I must keep going. I also got some footage of what will be my new Patreon video and the video I’ll send to DOOM and his team to ask again if they’d like me to stop using his mask in my videos. After about ten minutes into editing the footage last night, I realized that I’m going to be really good at this once I get going. Every fear I face along my way will make a better story while also helping me grow as a person. There are wins at every turn of this path.
I learned a lot my last solo trip to Europe and I can’t wait to do it better this time. I mostly overextended myself last time and stayed in hotels but this trip (until my yet-to-be-formed crew and budget arrives and we stay in Air Bnbs; delusional optimism at its finest) I’ll be staying in hostels to save a ridiculous amount of money and to meet people from all over the world. Sadly, even though I feel younger than I did ten years ago, I’m too old to stay at a lot of the cheapest European hostels ($8/night) but the lowest priced situations have truly terrible reviews anyway. Even if I ended up paying $35/night for a hostel room, it would still only cost me just over $1000 a month on lodging. Most of the hostels I’m looking at are around $25 so I’ll likely spend even less. The lodging costs for this trip strangely equal the price of my storage unit, my car payment, car insurance, and the art studio I’ve been squatting in. When everything goes as planned, while in Europe I’ll only have to pay for my storage unit, phone bill, Squarespace & Spotify fees, student loan, and the large payments on the credit card debt I acquired while attempting to maintain a solo residence in Seattle while owning a car (approximately $875 total). This trip is 100% doable when I figure out how to make money remotely. I already know HOW to do it, I just need to choose a few of them and JUST DOOM IT. Finishing and posting this car video is a step in exactly the right direction and I will be posting it today.
I've just never done anything that's turned out to be valuable that I wasn't just scared shitless to do it. -@BreneBrown pic.twitter.com/WaEdKuUk1u
— Chase Jarvis (@chasejarvis) September 12, 2018
After I complete this blog and post my soon to be finished video I know will help me sell my car, I’ll be taking another load of stuff to my storage unit. Without traffic, I can be there in 20 minutes but Seattle isn’t really rolling like that these days. My Smart TV has been in my trunk for almost a week because I want to sell it but I’m still hesitant to meet a stranger from the internet to actually sell the TV. It is now in the way and it must go so I can move the large items. Keeping the television so that I can come back to the US and watch it goes against everything I’m working towards at this time. We’ve reached the time on my daily blog when I must finish it so I can do all the things I’ve just told you I’m going to do. Stay tuned…
TODAY’S GOALS
1. Drink 64 oz. water
2. 10 Minute Stretch
3. Go For A Walk
4. Blog Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also)
5. 2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool
6. Finish car sale video and post!
7. Take at least one load to my storage unit and rearrange it so more stuff can fit.
8. Actually go to Everyday Music so I can take the box of mediocre CDs out of my car for good.
9. Eat a healthy dinner with vegetables involved; bean burritos are good and cheap but they’ve been my last four meals.
10. Work on Patreon and DOOM videos.
SONG OF THE DAY
B. Cool-Aid – “Cocoa (MNDSGN RMX)” 2017 I have no idea what this song is about yet but I love it and it will be on my upcoming September playlist. When everything goes as planned, I’ll get to see my first Hip Hop show in another country, Mndsgn and Kiefer in London, in a few weeks (if I don’t find one in Bristol sooner). I’ll be reaching out to local musicians to see if they want to show @TheRingOfDOOM around their city but it would be totally awesome to have a chance to talk to two of my favorite Stones Throw artists also.