Day 33 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 33

Yesterday’s “work” shift for the video team filming Bumbershoot was another truly wonderful day. Once again, the people I reconnected with brought joy to my caffeinated heart and learning from professional ass kickers is always wicked awesome. I maintain my stance that I have one of the best jobs at Bumbershoot and couldn’t be more excited for what today will bring. I completed one 90-minute work block of daily blog/Instagram before work and was able to show some rad people how great of a worker I am.

J. Cole sharing his soul on stage at Bumbershoot.

This morning, I officially let the keepers of my art studio know that I’ll be moving out before I leave for Europe. Feels weird to know that I won’t officially have my own place to go when I get back in two months but my world will then be too large to confine myself in a 10x10 cube anyway. I’ve had zero contact from Carter Subaru in Ballard where I bought my car after reaching out to them and I’m more than disappointed that they did not respond at all. When you spend $36,000 somewhere, returning your email is kind of expected. I still love that damn car even though I’ve never been in a position to own it but whatever happens with it I’ll never spend another dollar at their dealership again. Still maintain that if I could somehow monetize that Ariana Grande has been in my car, all my financial troubles would be over. Mostly, yet not really kidding.

King Of Ballard AKA Grynch On The Mural Stage

In the month of September, I completed 158 ninety-minute work blocks. This works out to be 237 hours and/or 7.6 hours per day (no weekends when you must create a career for yourself). The progress I made on my art in this time amazes me and I can’t wait to see how it evolves over the next few years. I spent the least amount of time on things I was doing just for the money; in hindsight it was foolish but I maintain that playing it safe is a terrible idea (as I write this I can almost hear The Don Gary Vaynerchuk telling me to be practical). One of the epic waste of time surveys I did on Swagbucks recently that earned me a whopping one penny asked if I had gambled in the last 30 days. I answered no but really I’m gambling on myself every day because I know the odds are stellar.

I’ll be housesitting a bit over the next two weeks so my routine will be different but it will be nice to have a whole kitchen for a while. I plan on using the time to strategically repack my storage unit with only the things I love enough to keep in boxes for years (such a ridiculous statement), releasing the rest via sales/donations, and seeking out ways to fund my trip. The reaction I get when I tell people about my storyboarded @TheRingOfDOOM miniseries that starts with him drinking the water in Bristol reinforces that I’m attempting something truly unique that can bring joy to so many people’s lives. I couldn’t be more confident that I am the ONLY person trying to do this exact thing so technically I have a monopoly on all things @TheRingOfDOOM related but it’s 100% on me to learn to communicate my ideas so others can get a clear view of what I plan to accomplish. Communication has never been one of my strengths but as with everything, one gets better with practice.

Stoked for these guys that they got to go to perform at Red Rocks as their trio with Grieves, Greater Than, a couple days ago with Atmosphere and Evidence. These are some great humans.

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     10 Minute Stretch

3.     Go For A Walk

4.     Blog Post On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also)

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.    Remember to eat.

SONG OF THE DAY

Rhye – “Open” 2013   Still having a moment with all things Rhye. I first posted this song back in March 2013 in a compilation of Music Videos Featuring Confetti and it has maintained currently overplaying status to this day.

Day 20 Of Delusional Optimist’s Guide To Achieving The I’mPossible

Day 20

The only goal I did not reach yesterday was to put any items for sale on ebay. My weak excuse is that most of the items I have at this time have failed to sell on ebay multiple times and that my attempts to flip stuff online ended up as a plastic tub of shit no one wants… like an R. Kelly cassette, or an Alaska commemorative spoon, or an eight headed mink stole. It should come to no surprise to me that I choose things (music, thrift store items) that do not make a profit but are awesome (Underground Hip Hop). Example, not a fan of Bieber or Grande but I love Taylar Elizza Beth and 10.4 Rog. Instead of eBaying, I spent time at the Laundromat and under Bezos’ Balls with @TheRingOfDOOM’s cardboard box apartment.

The sunset collage I almost didn't finish because I don't love the colors turned into one of my favorite pieces. I plan on turning it into a Spotifly playlist image so I can see it often.

As I reach the end of all my big collage projects without any more large frames in my possession, I’m reminded that I still have around 50 small and imperfect thrifted frames leftover from #100DaysOfTheRingOfDOOMcollages. I much prefer making large pieces but as I say to myself all the time, I must use what I have. There’s lots of things I prefer to do, like eating at delicious restaurants and spacecruising to the ocean whenever, but if we always did what we prefer to do, we’d just be laying on the couch watching Netflix in a diabetic coma from too much ice cream and chocolate. I still would prefer to take photos of Street Art (and everything) in Paris than building a solid foundation out of hourly wages but if I don’t take actions towards large sums of money, they will not arrive.

Over the next few months, I hope to become as addicted to finishing stuff as I am to coffee. Sometimes when I find myself leisurely gluing tiny pieces of water, I think about the sense of urgency that kicks in when I’m working for others and I start gluing faster. I currently have 201 drafted blog posts on my old blogger site, a fully drafted Hip Hop Crossword/Activity Book, way too many hours of @TheRingOfDOOM footage, 80 belt buckle blanks, 50+ tiny frames, 20 blank reusable bags, 800 button blanks, 147 uncompleted To Do lists, thousands of photos to sort into books/zines, and more than one storyboarded iphone movie (among other projects). When I finish all this stuff, I get to see what I’ll do next but the procrastinator in me wonders if all these projects should be finished. For someone who got many A’s on papers written the night before they were due, it is way too easy to put things off when there is no deadline. The time frame created by my plane ticket to Europe (I still have it) on September 17 may have been permanently replaced with an 18 month timeline (at least) so the sense of urgency/panic has turned into a marathon instead of a sprint. I keep thinking about where I should be as a forty year old but then I remember that I must not give a fuck about shoulds; I must fine tune my goals so I can work my way through them.

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     30 Minute Yoga YouTube Video

3.     Go For A Walk

4.     Two Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also) – 2-3 blocks

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Pour resin on current projects.

7.     Make at least one small framed collage and start next coaster set.

8.    Clean Cheeto rain out of cardboard box movie set and gather props needed for rest of the             scenes.

9.    Make tiny bowl of ramen out of polymer clay, resin, and actual ramen.

10.   Spotify work block

11.    90 Minute block sorting photos by city/artist for books/zines

SONG OF THE DAY

Seinabo Sey – “Younger” 2014 Until Death Becomes Her turns into our reality, none of us are getting any younger so we may as well just DOOM it.

DID YOU KNOW

Did you know I have a YouTube playlist with almost 100 animated videos on it? I’ve had Animated Videos Part VII drafted since mid 2017 so it’s no longer fresh but like I’ve said before, one of the best things about music is that the first time you hear it, it is new to you. I will be finalizing a new post of more current animated videos soon. Here’s one of my favorites from the playlist that is best consumed on SmartTV or whatever device you have close to you.

Day 18 Of Delusional Optimist's Guide To Achieving The I'mPossible

Day 18

Looking back over the previous days goals and seeing what I did or didn’t do is always a little uncomfortable when you have a strange aversion to finishing stuff. It’s a little too easy to finish the first five goals and feel like I’ve done something when that stuff is supposed to merely promote the rest of my endeavors. The truth is that it is extremely difficult to see the vision I had when blissfully rewriting fables for my yet-to-launch new fictional character at McCarran Park in Brooklyn a little over a month ago. Inevitably, what people want for themselves will evolve as they learn, grow, and get over their own bullshit but this fog is caused by my lack of money, all the reasons why I don’t have any money, and my unwillingness to face my social anxieties head on.

One of the biggest lessons I learned about myself over the last few years is that as much as I love touring with musicians, the ups and downs of tour life are extremely difficult to deal with. The camaraderie and love vibes of tour are so beautiful and amazing but then I get back to Seattle and remember that I have been working too much to be present in the lives of the people I hoped to be in the position to help. Then comes the realization that even though I’ve been studying how to best develop, promote, and support artists over the last five years, many of the artists I love the most do not want my help because I haven’t been part of their lives over the last few years. Going out on tour with such high quality individuals changed me more than I could have predicted and it immersed me into a world I want to be part of for the rest of my life but I need to learn how to make it sustainable.

I won’t be going into the details of what is happening with my job search for a bit but I did say NO yesterday to an opportunity to jump into a Tour Manager position that would have started today and lasted until mid-September. As much as I know I would have loved every minute of it, Underground Hip Hop tours don’t correlate with making actual money. There are exceptions (mostly where merch cuts and Square tips are involved) but it is time for me to figure out how to make a living so I can continue to work with artists who are focused on building a legacy instead of a bank account. Me being too broke to go to the dentist or have a permanent residence helps no one and this tour would have merely put off the inevitable. Typically, toward the end of the tours, panic about what will happen after the tour rules my thoughts and I’m not as nice of a human as I was at the beginning of the tour. Starting this debt relief program is definitely a step in the right direction but there are many more steps I need to take to be a healthy, financially stable human being. As I stumble to write this paragraph, I wonder if this decision will be added to my list of regrets. We shall see…

Detail of hand cut 3D paper collage waiting for its 7th layer of resin.

I could write about my internal debates all day long but it would get me nowhere. That said, now seems the best time to tell you that I only completed four work blocks yesterday because I went to my sister’s place to re-watch Encino Man for the 111th time and spent too much time checking in to see how many people are looking at what I’m creating. I must try to care less but all three of my Instagram accounts have gone up an average of 50 followers since I started writing about my journey 17 days ago. The two work blocks not spent on my website consisted of gluing yet another layer of water onto my collages. They’re finally getting close to being finished and I am simultaneously excited/nervous to see what I’ll choose to finish next.

Since Seattle is no longer smoked in, it’s not way too hot outside, and because I need it, shortly after I send this blog out into the world, I’m heading out on a ridiculously long photo walk. So many photos I haven’t taken yet…

TODAY’S GOALS

1.     Drink 64 oz. water

2.     Stretch at least 10 minutes

3.     Go For A Long Walk and take tons of amazing photos

4.     Two Posts On Website… Shared (post on all blogs on Medium also) – 2-3 blocks

5.     2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool

6.     Apply last layer of water to large collage and pour resin.

7.     Make final preparations for cardboard box movie so I can film it TOMORROW

SONG OF THE DAY

Charlotte Day Wilson – “Work” 2016 Cuz it's gonna take a bit of work...

DID YOU KNOW

I didn’t know this so I’m pretty sure you didn’t either but writing stories about beings becoming friends who love snacks is not new to me. While looking through my collage paper collection, I found this story I probably wrote in elementary story about a rabbit that makes friends with his neighbors. My favorite part is that Hoot The Owl brought custard and Ted The Bear brought popcorn; I was so not into custard.