Day 59
Yesterday I worked and spent most of the rest of the day attempting to relax. I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to go back to Portland to make more photos. One of my would-be favorite shots from Burnside has my finger in it so my perfectionism won’t let me post it. I’ll be heading downtown to take some photos this afternoon before work because there are some spots I haven’t photographed in too long. I’ve been procrastinating the completion of my video from the beach like a dumbass. If I really want to do myself a service, I’ll start my next two 100 Day Projects today so I can feel like I’m making progress in life. Even though I’ve never made a penny off my websites, they have led to every opportunity in the music industry I’ve ever had so I know it is worth it to keep going.
Favorite photo from my field trip.
Sometimes I think I don’t have the entrepreneur gene but then I remember that my cousin and I created our own newspaper when we were around 10 and had actual subscribers. We hand typed every issue ON TYPEWRITERS and charged 25 cents each; it was called the Market Street Reporter. I believe I have one or two in my storage unit somewhere (I’ve had most of my belongings in storage for almost two years now). The truth is that I haven’t pulled the trigger on most of my ideas because I doubt myself AND because I still feel weird about using DOOM’s likeness and making money from it. I have asked them in the past if they’d like me to stop but they asked if I would send them what I was working on. The zine I had just made was crude and unimpressive but I sent it to them anyway. No response from that but I totally get it. When you know you’re going to be sending whatever you make to your one of your favorite rapper’s teams, the stakes feel higher. I still want to make the photo-graphic novel and videos because it’ll help me to learn new skills and develop the story. At one point a French duo called NowFutur created a DOOM mix called Origins Of The Villain using samples from his songs and his original sources to create a video project that inspired DOOM to have them open for him at some of his European shows. Anything is possible if I make the thing and vice versa.
My trip to Europe feels so far off now because it is. Unless I can get some sponsors, I won’t be able to go until the spring. That would give me time to hopefully earn enough to pay for my dental work (even with my insurance) and raise the funds for the trip itself. Ideally, I’ll also be able to have enough to live somewhere when I get back. I’ve already got the Skyscanner alerts set so I can hopefully get the ticket for under $500 like last time. The trip won’t magically happen in the spring, I will have to make it happen with small steps every day. I’ll be seeking out a sublet situation once I earn the fundage… soon. So excited for the paychecks to start flowing. I don’t plan on living alone so it should be pretty affordable. Usually I just want to hide in my room and make stuff anyway so I’m a great roommate.
The sad photo with a finger in it.
Sometimes writing this blog makes me feel like I’m just talking about the things I want to do instead of just doing them… because it is true. I enjoy the act of writing and would love to keep doing it, I just can’t let it take up so much time that it replaces creating the rest of the art I want to make. Even though I know where I want to go, the route is still blurry. All I know for sure is that I won’t get anywhere if I don’t keep finishing stuff. I didn’t complete any of the things I wanted to yesterday so my goals remain the same but I added a walk.
TODAY’S GOALS
1. Drink 64 oz. water
2. Eat three meals
3. Stretch at least 10 minutes
4. Finish this blog
5. 2-3 Instagram Posts Per Account @206liz @TheRingOfDOOM @MyDefOfCool
6. Go to work and kick ass
7. Make a video from the footage I got yesterday at the ocean.
8. Finish September Spotify playlist
9. Go for a walk and make some new photos.
SONG OF THE DAY
Gorillaz “Tomorrow Comes Today” 2001 If I keep on putting it off until tomorrow, I’ll be running in place forever.