I had fallen asleep while watching classic Mae West movies and was not too surprised to see her appear again once my eyes had closed. The dream started with us bickering about something I could not determine because once we started saying “kiss my ass” back and forth, things started to get weird FAST. Once I told her to kiss my ass right back the third time, she did it. Her lips got stuck to my tiny clay ass like the kid who stuck his tongue to the frozen pole in The Christmas Story. I tried to hoverboard away but then her lips seemed to ooze right off her face into a weird goo and then reassemble into a perfectly sculpted lip shaped couch attached to my ass.
The #MFDALÍ collage (sans TheRingOfDOOM) in the Mae West Room at Museu Dalí in Figueres, Spain
My first impulse was to take a seat and think about my next move but I didn’t want to further offend Mae West (still not sure what we were dream fighting about) so I turned around to smile at her in hopes it was all just psychedelic fun. I was terrified to see that her eyes had somehow tripled and started rotating and snaking out in different directions. Then she sneezed. I had not anticipated the incredible force that hurled me across the room to the doorway. If you’ve never been a 3.3” alien stuck to a pair of human-sized lips before, this can be difficult to fathom. I was able to grab onto her hair which had sprouted in the doorway so I didn’t get sneezed all the way outside. Fortunately, the sneeze separated her lips from my ass in the process.
From my hair perch, I was able to scope out the scene in between sneezes and start to time their frequency on the clock that had suddenly appeared on her nose with the help of a muttering bespectacled white rabbit. Once I had noted that the sneezes were all coming 11.1 seconds apart, I knew my next move. 0.1 seconds after a sneeze, I hoverboarded quickly to the top of her new frames and found safety… then I woke up.
I’m guessing this Dalían Dream is telling me to evaluate my surroundings, create a strategy to get where I aim to go, and make it happen without delay… all while sneezing away those who serve to hold me back. Or maybe I just watch too many Mae West movies.